The first time she goes en pointe it feels like a dream. Her mother takes pictures in the dance shop of her picking out her shoes. The photo is pinned onto the refrigerator at home, and she is sure to show all of her friends. Her mother beams as she runs around the house in her very first pair of pointe shoes.
The second time she goes en pointe, it is for her first pointe class. Her toes bleed, despite the padding she has stuffed inside. Her friends teach her how to wrap her toes with tape. The tape feels strange in her shoes, but she soon forgets about it as she watches her reflection in the mirror.
The third time she goes en pointe, her feet are still bandaged and sore from the class of the previous day. She takes a Motrin before class and soaks her feet in warm water and Epsom salts that night.
The first time she goes en pointe to get new shoes, she feels bittersweet. She keeps her first pair of shoes in her closet at home, refusing to throw them away. Her mother watches in amusement as the pile slowly grows through the year.
The first time she goes en pointe on stage, she could not be more happy. It is her end of the year performance and she is eager to show off what she has learned. Her mother takes pictures of her in her costume, and places the photos on the refrigerator.
The first time she goes en pointe in a new brand, she has been accepted as a corps member at her dream company. The new brand fits her feet better, or so she is told. She places them in a new pile in her new closet after she wears them out. She calls her mother and shows her the start of the new pile of pointe shoes.
The first time she gets her custom shoes and goes en pointe it feels like a dream. One of the first soloists had suggested she alter her shoes and send them back to the company so they can make her shoes to fit her feet better, and taught her how to cut and sew her shoes. That day in class she is sure to personally thank the first soloist who helped her.
The second time she gets her custom shoes and goes en pointe, she rushes to tie them before rehearsal, already accustomed to the feeling. Quickly tucking the ends of her ribbons, she slips into a back row and joins the rest of the company members for the petite allegro.
The first time she goes en pointe on stage as part of a company she feels like she's flying in an untouchable dream. The principal comes bursting out of the wings as she stands on the side with the rest of the corps members, unseen and unheard, but she could not care less in the world. Her mother makes the flight to take photos of her on stage, despite the warning at the beginning of the performance against it.
The second time she goes en pointe on stage as part of a company, it is less exhilarating. She struggles to ignore the dull ache of her feet in her shoes, smiling up at an invisible audience like the rest of the corps members. That night she soaks her feet in warm water and Epsom salt as she cries at the season finale of her favorite show.
The first time she goes en pointe on the day the promotions are announced she is elated; she has been promoted to second soloist! The first soloist who helped her customize her pointe shoes has been promoted to principal and she is sure to congratulate her mentor. She calls her mother and shows off her name on the promotion sheet.
The first time she goes en pointe for her trio her toes almost cramp but she manages to finish the first run through. The ballet master nods, then points out all her errors. She stands on her rolling stick, trying to stretch out the soles of her feet as he speaks. The next day she double tapes her big toe and places a band-aid on her growing bunion.
The first time she goes en pointe for her trio on stage she is beyond excited, the heat of the stage lights and weight of the costume rushing to the back of her mind like an avalanche. Her toes no longer cramp up after the first eight counts; her endurance has grown.
