A collection of SMITE shitpost

The Chronos Problem

"Fuck!" Hou Yi's yell could be heard all over the Joust lane. He had just gotten killed by Chronos. For the 9th time. His whole team was laughing at him, giving him the good ole "You rock, Cancel that!" Yi was fed up, he's had a bad time playing this whole day and god dammit, if he didn't kill that motherfucking blue bitch he'd kill himself. 

Once he respawned at fountain, his heart was set on revenge. He sprinted past the titan. He was on full tilt. His teammates, Ymir and Nox could see this as clear as the suns he shot from the sky. Yi and his buddies were waiting at fountain for the next minion wave to give their lives. Nox was busy shaking her tits as Yi, and Ymir was jacking off or something idk what do Ymir mains even do.

Once the army of little men charged, they followed. The enemy team came into view. A Kuzenbo, Medusa, and that god forsaken Chronos. Hou Yi and Chronos instantly locked eyes, an electric shock conjuring between their gazes. This was intense.

Medusa made a ballsy move and dashed at Ymir, making a claw shaped gash into his icy arm. Ymir swung his club at her, knocking her into the wall and slamming his club down. A trail of ice sprung from it, spikes impaling her underbelly as she hissed, rearing back and getting ready to ult. Nox cast a cage of shadow and locked her in it.

"You emo bi-" was the last words heard by Medusa as she was blown into bits. 

"No problem" Nox smugly said. Yi punched her on the arm, grunting as he kept his eyes locked on the Chronos who was clearing wave with his basic attacks. Kuzenbo was infront of him, making sure no one hurt the god of time. Yi looked to Ymir, signaling him to Initiate.

Ymir nodded, and started moving in circles. Maybe he was dancing, maybe he was getting ready. Who knows. He then evaporated, his whole body mass being teleported in an instant infront of him. He chugged down some mints and breathed outwards, freezing those infront of him. In their icy shells, they could do nothing. Ymir and Nox focused down the Kuzenbo, killing him quickly because they both did insane amounts of damage.

Hou Yi, on the other hand, got a couple cheeky shots on Chronos. Ymir and Nox stepped back, they knew Yi would have fed if he didn't get what he wanted, similar to another Yi from another shitty ass game. Chronos reversed time for himself, becoming fully healed. As Medusa returned, she stopped before she could reach Chronos. She knew this was between them.

Yi made the first shot, hitting Chronos on the arm. He didn't wince, and started attacking. Yi dodged around the balls, firing back at him. Chronos hit one square in his stomach. Yi growled as he was thrown back a bit. The ground below him cracked, and a blue eruption of gears exploded. Luckily, he raised himself in the air fast enough. He slammed onto the ground landing on top of Chronos. He fired 3 arrows into him, leaving him at a sliver of health.

Chronos was stunned on the ground as Yi prepared the final arrow.

"Gg ez biiiiiitch!" He spun and did an epic 360 shot, 3 ricochets and finishing Chronos. As the arrow penetrated him, time stopped. Everyone was frozen in place, unable to think. Everything was black.

They eventually recovered conciousness at the hub, where all gods went to rest before battle. Once Yi killed him, The gods of the gods, Hirez, issued a patch. This froze the game, but everyone thought Chronos caused it.

From this day foward, everybody avoided hurting Chronos. Everybody feared them, as they should. Fuck Chronos. Fuck him in the ass.

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AN: Hey, i'm happy you read to the end. If you enjoy, please, give me suggestions! I can't think of all these ideas on my own, and while i have a couple in my head i still need your help. Feel free to leave a comment saying what you'd like to see. Peace!

~GetOffOfThem