Mismatched

19

      Jackson remembers with emotions now. He recalls the first time he saw Mark smile and how his stomach felt full of butterflies, thinking that right in front of him was the most precious person on the whole planet. He knew in that moment that Mark would be someone special to him and today he feels his stomach tingling with the memory.

Mark cries with regret and sorrow as he realises Jackson loved him and all that love is gone, taken away and only a scar was left behind. He lost him. His Jackson is gone and now for sure he'll never love him back again. Mark cries.

Jackson remembers the first time Mark cried in his arms because he missed home so much, because he was scared he wouldn't make it. Jackson felt the same, he could understand exactly how Mark felt so he hugged him tighter and promised him to be his home in Korea so he wouldn't feel so lost ever again. Jackson remembers that determination to keep Mark happy and help him through everything, and he now feels so guilty knowing he's the one making Mark miserable.

Mark sobs, hating himself for never stepping forward and taking a risk. For never even trying to make Jackson love him back or anything. He lost his chance to love and be happy for being coward. Mark deserves the flowers killing him from inside.

Jackson remembers the longing he felt every time he was away from Mark, how it made his chest so tight he could barely breathe. And he remembers his excitement when he was going back home, knowing Mark would be there, smiling beautifully, all sharp teeth and eyes like crescent moons. Now Jackson feels the same longing for the lost chances and love.

Mark cries more and throws more petals, and this time the petals come out with red dots... blood. Mark is getting worse. Mark is really dying.

Jackson cries because he feels the hole in his chest, where all his feelings for Mark once resided, filling in with new emotions. Dark, gloomy, painful, sorrowful emotions. Jackson cries because he wants his feelings back, he doesn't want Mark to die. Mark cannot die.

Mark has decided... Jackson is right, he needs to get better. Mark will get the surgery.

Jackson has decided... he will get his love back. Mark will live.