Battle Scars.. ~Izamika\mpreg~

Things happen for a reason.

() Izaya's P.O.V ()

    Only a few days have passed since I found out Mikado was pregnant with our second child, since then Izaya has been more and more worried about having another child after having Haru. I told my little Mikado he needs to be more calm so nothing bad happens to the baby. I mostly have been taking care of Haru and letting Mikado rest more but that's very rare. Lately I have been having the oddest feeling that Mikado has been feeling depressed lately he won't even let me take care of Haru when he cries at one in the morning. Once he comes back to lay down I try to get closer to him to make him feel a bit better but he just inches away and falls asleep himself.  I'm just so worried that he's having suicidal thoughts again.  I guess I kinda messed up by thinking it was okay for me to try to run away from my problems. But I need to find a time where I can talk to him about why he's being so distant, I just don't want to hurt him again.

    It was probably around midnight and I was still awake in our master bedroom, working on things, on the desktop computer. And of course Mikado was taking care of our son, and yes he would let me take over of course. Mikado is very stressed I can sense it . I don't want him to be over stressed but he won't talk to me,  I need some way to calm his stress without hurting him. I still hear Haru crying in the distance, I wonder why he hasn't stopped. I logged out of the dollars webpage and log out of the computer, leaving the log in screen on. I pushed my chair in and left the messy bedroom. I walked down the hallway quietly and stopped at Harus nursery door. I walked in and closed the door behind me. Hari was still crying and Mikado wad rocking very slowly trying to make him stop the crying.  Mikado turned around and noticed me next to him. I smiled briefly and he looked down at Haru. I could tell he was more than exhausted he was depressed. His once beautiful ocean blue eyes looked shattered inside. He looked drained from everything.  He kept looking at me then Haru. " Baby, let me take him. You need some water and a nice long bath. I'll be in the tub with you in a minute, just get water and relax in a warm bath." I said slowly and pointed at the door. He handed me Haru and kind of gave me the cold shoulder well walking out. Haru was still crying in my arms, he could sense his mommy being sad. I rocked him and sat down on the rocking chair. " It's alright little man, your mommy is okay.." I whispered and he slowly closed his eyes along with that.  I sang him a small Lullaby and stuck a binky in his mouth. He fell asleep a few minutes later.  I later him in his crib and pulled the covers over his chest, well giving a quick peck to his for head. I turned off the lights and went out of the bedroom. I checked to seeing Mikado was in the kitchen, he was already in the bath. I walked in our bedroom and then into the master bathroom. His clothes where lying on the floor next to the very deep original Japanese bathtub. I pulled of my dirty clothes and sat down on the opposite side of Mikado. There was silence for a while. But he was relaxing that's all that mattered to me. Dunk my head under water and then put shampoo in my hand and rub it into my scalp softly. After that I dunked my head again and then put conditioner in, then repeated dunking my head after that. As my eyes battered open I saw Mikado slowly glancing at me, blushing from all the heat in here.

    I looked at him and he looked at me then washed his own hair.  After that he just looked into my gaze. This is probably the weirdest thing we have done together ever. He finally looked away so did I. He stood up and moved over towards me. I opened my legs a bit so he could sit next to me. He sat in the open area and nudged his head into my chest, I felt something cold fall onto my chest. It was his tears of sadness slowly falling. I moved my arms around his fragile body that was holding our second child. He wouldn't speak to me,  I understood the silence. He just wanted to be held so he could finally let his feeling out. He kept his right arm away from my eyes. I knew something was up. I tried to lift up his arm so it wouldn't fall sleep. But instead he nudged into my chest more, making some water splash out side of the tub. " Y-your gonna hate me.." he said letting more tears out.  I sighed and kissed his forehead. He cried more and lifted up his arm. I saw his old cut marks, but then I saw new fresh deep cuts over his old scars.  I suddenly panicked and shoved his arm in the water. He baled more at this action. I sighed " My little Mikado.. I'm not mad at you. But could you please tell me why you did this. "I only thought about him at that moment, then about what the loss of blood could do to the baby. His ocean blue eyes looked at mine. He sighed and never answered, he wanted to ignore the question. So he smashed his soft lips against mine. I kissed back passionately but then stopped his rough kiss. " Answer me god dammit. " my voice raised a little and he jumped. " I did this a few days ago,  I'm stressed with everything that has happened.. And I-I thought.." he choked on his tears.  " that I'd be better of D-d-dead. And you would be happy without me around. " after what he said, tears welled up in my eyes and I moved closer to him embracing him and embracing the fact he does feel suicidal right now.  He wiped away his tears and I looked him deeply in his eyes.  " Mikado, I love you more than anything and if you left I would be dead inside. Please know I love you so much that seeing you this way hurts me eternally. " I said well tears fell down. My face. I kissed him and he kissed back.  I pulled the plug to the tub and got out. Wiping my self and Mikado down. He stayed silent, I knew he felt ashamed. I lifted him up onto the counter and wrapped bandages around his cuts. He stayed on the counter and looked at me lustfully. I could tell he was kind of hungry for something. But he kept silent and smashed his now plump lips against mine.

      I picked him caring him like a baby well kissing him. I made it to our bed and lay him down on the bed. I stopped kissing him and pushed one finger on his lips. " let's save this for another time Mikado.. I want you to rest in my arms tonight, just mine. "

A/n- sorry this kind of short but I hope you liked it. I'm back for good.  Thanks for waiting so long.  I love you all for my views your amazing.😍😍😘😘
Love angeltwoangel.