Strong.

Chapter 11

for some reason chapter 10 can only be read by my followers.. so ya! follow me to read chapter 10

The first half of this chapter is flashback!

Day one in the hospital was filled with pain killers and getting stitches in my head.

Day two I spent at Darcy’s side holding her tiny hand in mine. Vanessa never left our sides.

Day two quickly turned into day 12 each day was spent with a barely there rise and fall of her chest. The faint beeping of the machine telling us she was still with us-barely, become a sound of relief.

So when day 13 came, and the beeping stopped. My world stopped. I looked up and the gentle rise and fall of her chest had stopped. It seemed like the next few hours flew by. Harry was here know and I don’t remember connecting my body with his. But there we were tangled together on the floor, sobbing. Surrounded by our friends and Harry’s family.

The drive to the airport was slow, everything was so slow without Darcy. Nobody said anything the entire drive.

I watched out the window of the airport as they loaded her tiny casket into the airplane.

“Happy third birthday Darcy.” It had already been a year almost since I met Harry. What a year it’s been.

I silently trudged along behind the boys and Vanessa. Harry never left my hip.

These days just dragged on.

The funeral was the worst part of everything. Seeing everyone around me sad, and it was my fault. Liam placed his “Payne” jersey with Darcy. It was her favorite thing.

When I heard Andrew was transferred back the Auburn jail I cringed knowing I was near him.

“I’m gonna stay here with my mom a while okay? I’ll fly out when I’m ready.” I said to the group around me. Louis, Liam, Zayn and Niall each hugged me before going to the car. Vanessa gave me a long hug and Harry gave me a bit of a pep talk and kissed me before leaving. After a month of being at my mom’s I decided I was going to visit Andrew I would never get over this if I didn’t.

**

My heels scuffed against the floor of the prison, my heart leaping out of my chest with every step I took. I was in this cold, quit room. There were two chairs, separated by a piece of glass and two phones. I waited about 2 minutes when I saw Andrew sit across from I took in his appearance. His ears floppy from where his gauges once were, his tattoo covered skin. His dark eyes. I searched for the man I used to love on the other side of that glass. I never found him. I needed to forgive Andrew, for Darcy’s sake. She would want me to forgive him. She always told me to “Never stay mad at anyone Momma.”

So I wouldn’t.

With shaking hands I picked up the receiver and he did the same.

“Hi Andrew.” I whispered into the receiver.

“Hi Abby.” He said back with a gentle tone.

“I have a lot to say and you’re just going to listen. I know you want the satisfaction of knowing you ruined my life, and in a sense you did. You took away a part of me that I probably would have given you eventually. You said you loved me Andrew. You had hurt me emotionally for 4 years but I never thought it would come to this. I haven’t been truly happy since the day I met you. But when Harry and Darcy and I were all together in London, I was happy. Completely happy. You knew it, you fucking sensed it and came in and you hurt me again. Letting Harry in was hard, because of you. But I did it. You took my baby away from me. I don’t know how you could do that. She was perfect ya know. I guess in a way I should thank you. Because I wouldn’t be where I am if you hadn’t done that. But also, fuck you. How could you? Why would you honestly do something like that?” He shrugged his shoulders. “You don’t know why you could hurt someone who loved you for more than you had to offer in bed? I loved you Andrew. Even though you always doubted me. I thought you loved me. I did. I really did. Even when I walked in on you fucking someone else. Even when you dated my friend and still hooked up with me. Even when you raped me I loved you. It took a long time to stop loving you. I think there was a part of me that still loved you when I met Harry. But when I saw the way he looked at me when he told me he loved me. I knew then that you never loved me. You never looked at me that way. I have to thank Harry for that. I’m finally done with you. I hate you, but I forgive you. As much as I wish the worst for you, I will never wish what happened to me onto anyone. Not even you Andrew.” Without a second thought I stood up and walked away with a huge weight lifted off my shoulder. I was still sad for Darcy, but I need to focus on making myself happy now. I had to.

My mom drove me to the airport, and though the flight to Australia was long it was relaxing. When I landed Vanessa and Niall were there to pick me up, each greeting me with massive hugs. Harry still didn’t know I was coming and I couldn’t wait to surprise him. When we arrived at the venue Harry was in the changing room. Lou called him. “Harry please come here, I need to do your hair.” I walked in circles waiting for him to appear at the end of the hall. When I saw his bare chest turn the corner. I smiled to him, his eyes connected with mine and he stopped walking. I took off into a run. When I reached Harry I jumped into his arms. He held me tight and it was such a good feeling to love him. To be loved back. I leaned my head down to meet his and placed a small kiss to his lips. “I love you Abby.” “I know Haz. I love you too.” I smiled into him as tears fell down my cheek. He walked back to down the hall where Vanessa was smiling at us. He set me down gently before taking his place in the chair to get his hair done.

“Ab. Do you know what tomorrow is?” he questioned as Lou pulled back his fringe.

I gave him a quizzical look. “Our one year.” He smiled. I gasped, I had completely forgotten.

“Her birthday is the day after that!” Vanessa yelled. I rolled my eyes because I knew he was going to cook something up. After the show we climbed on the bus and quickly retreated to bed. I smiled as I climbed in next to Harry’s naked body.

**

“Happy birthday to you.” The stadium full of people shouted to Vanessa and I. Our birthdays fell a week away from each other. This was our last night on tour with the boys so we celebrated our birthdays together. “OK OK, I HAVE TO GIVE VANESSA HER PRESENT.” Niall shouted with fear in his eyes. I about pissed myself when they were done blindfolding Vanessa and Niall crouched down onto one knee.