Here We Go Again (sequel)

Chapter 16

The next morning I woke up in an empty bed. There was a mug of hot tea next to my bed. I smiled. I love tea in the morning. I grabbed it and sat up in my bed. Taking a sip, all the memories from yesterday came back, flooding my mind.
Luke's voice. He sounded ... worried. Angry. Sad. But why?
Did he recognize me a the stupid bitch I am?
Did he finally notice, that he deserves better?
And the most important question - are we a couple or not?
I felt my head starting to hurt. There are only three days left before I'm going back home. And there is so much to sort out with Luke. I don't know if I can handle all of this.

I started to get up. I paced through the room, looked outside the window and enjoyed the sun. She kept warming up my body. Turning around, I looked into the mirror. I saw a girl with brown hair, a thin face, dark bags under her eyes. And those green eyes, everyone loved about her and which were always so bright and shining, were empty and dull. I turned my head. I wanted to avoid myself. I was afraid of myself. I can't stand to be me. Sure, I get everything I want in just a matter of seconds. But I actually always seem to mess everything up. I 'm not the same girl I used to be. I admit a lot of shit got to me.

I grabbed my favourite Pierce The Veil shirt, tossed it over and walked into the bathroom. There was still no sign of Joe. No note, no message, nothing. I tried not to think about it and took a long, hot shower. The water ran down my body and sent shivers down my spine. I felt like I've been out and it was ice cold. Like I was standing in the cold for over a few days and now it was my first hot shower again. My toes started to burn and so did my skin. It also started tingling on my arms and thighs.
Stepping out of the shower, I grabbed my brush and brushed and dried my hair and put my clothes back on. I checked myself once again, even though I knew I would really regret it.
The shirt was still a bit too tight, but I would fit into it in just a matter of days. Time to go for "skip a meal and work out harder" again.
The scars on my skin were nearly invisible. I followed the thin lines with my eyes and index finger.
I still remember why I did the first cut.

* Flashback*

"Yo fatty" she called after me. I easily recognized that voice. She had been bullying me since first grade.
She had been calling me names, shoved me into lockers, picked on me and humiliated me in front of the whole school.
"Fuck off, Louise" I said, my voice trembling. I felt like I was little Jane and she was big, black King Kong.
But Louis was right. I really was fat. I weighed way too much, always wore big-sized sweaters and yoga pants. My thighs met and according to her, "I could my belly fat use for giving them shade on hot and sunny summer days".
My hair was short, which made my face look even fatter.
Louise was quite the opposite of me.
She was thin, beautiful and talented. Her black hair reached down to her waist, her eyes were a great color of brown and her smile was the prettiest I've ever seen. Everyone seemed to love that daughter of a devil.
"What did you say" she asked, slamming me into the lockers once again. Her voice was full of venom, and so were her next words.

"See loser, you're a nothing. Nobody likes you. You're fat and not even pretty. You're a waste of space and your parents should have never raised you. You. Are. Useless."

She whispered the last words into my ear, making me break down. And that was it. I was running home. I was on the verge of tears.

* End of Flashback *

Long story short, I ran into my room, locked it, and did my first cut.
I had tears in my eyes, just thinking about it. Wiping them away, I straightened my back and put a fake smile on.