Red Rain

Chapter 3 - Just What I Needed

I slump in my seat, cross my arms, and look down at the pizza plate as I mutter, "I seriously have to ask, what have I done to deserve this?"

Fionna takes a slice of pizza and munches off the tip before responding. "Hmm. Let's see. You've thrown a gallon or ten of water at me-"

"You still remember when I did that?"

"-and you've cracked wise about my taste in books. General assholery, really." Fionna stops to laugh for a second. "Now you're reading the same book I was today, and very clearly enjoying it. And here I thought you angels were all emotionless, un-fun, unfailingly polite robots."

I look up, rolling my eyes. "I'm not like other angels."

"Yeah. Your brother's a demon, so clearly you're not all one hundred percent angel. Maybe you're not so boring after all." She smiles for a moment before knitting her eyebrows at me again.

"I bet you demanded a million bucks before you would agree to do this," I say. "Or did Gabe offer you more?"

"He didn't pay me anything," says the girl. "I'm doing this because Gabe said he's got a brother who's lonely and wants a date, but he's too scared to come out of his shell and ask girls out himself."

I nod as I take a bite of pizza. "Yeah. You got me summed up right there. So now you know me. What about yourself? No, no, wait, don't tell me. Um, you're a rude, snarky demon girl who likes dicking around with me, 'cause you have no patience for shy introverts who won't come out of their shells."

"But if that were the case, why would I have come here?"

"Because you like dicking around with me."

"Repeating things doesn't make 'em any more clever."

"That's okay," I say. "I'm not exactly a clever person."

Fionna laughs once, and very harshly, before leaning forward in her seat. "Self-deprecation doesn't suit you," she says.

Neither does sarcasm, but I keep doing it anyway.

"And if you got something to say, don't just keep it in your head," she adds. "It's not gonna stay private in there anyway."

"I'm actually pretty good at keeping my inner thoughts a secret," I say. "If my classmates knew half the stuff I thought, they'd ostracize me faster than you can say, 'Freaking weirdo!'" I uncross my arms just long enough to take another bite.

"You weren't kidding about being bad at sarcasm, were you?" Fionna says.

"Jeez, you think?"

Fionna leans back again, and I see her foot poke out from under the table as she crosses her legs. "Okay. Now that that's out of the way, I have a serious question for you."

"Shoot."

"Why are you dating outside your race? What, angel girls aren't willing to put out? 'Cause if that's what you want, I should warn you I'm not ready to do the do just yet."

I nearly choke on my pizza as I start laughing. "So it's not true, then? That demons are all about the free love?"

"No. Contrary to popular belief, we don't screw like bunnies at the drop of a hat. Now answer the question."

I take a drink of soda - wow, I'm really overdoing it on the sugar today. I probably won't sleepwalk again tonight - hell, I'll be lucky to sleep at all. "No, I'm not looking for sex. We don't really do that."

"I bet the demon half of your DNA isn't so restrained."

"But I'm an angel. Aren't I?"

Fionna frowns. "Not so sure, are you, Alex?"