Infinite: Power

Chapter Eighteen :For all of us

I like to come and sit with Francis when I'm not helping Mrs. Craw or when Robin's not trying to teach me how to swim properly, how to ride a horse or how to anything-that-pops-into-her-mind.

Today Hayden prepared her bags to go and spend her last "free-months" with other relatives, or so I was able to understand when Mr. Craw told Mrs. Craw. I sort of understand the aversion Hayden feels towards me. In fact, ever since I almost drowned and lost the capability to speak English, I began to feel more like my old self and to understand even more what the Craw family thought about me. To begin with, Mr. Craw does not believe I came from where I said I came from, or at least he's trying to believe me. Mrs. Craw is in distress for whatever happens to Brooke/Robin so she dedicates herself to teach me stuff and take care of me and Francis. Robin has sort of become my guardian and best friend. I rarely felt affection towards anyone but Tommy, so this would be a first to me. And then, there's Hayden, who obviously dislikes me, but I can't dislike her.

I used to dislike people I envied, like my fellow Cartoners when they found papers and valuable stuff, or people who tried to get too close to me or my friends. All of that seems to be ages away – it probably is – but I can't dislike Hayden and I think it's because I understand her. Of course, I don't adore her, but somehow she has a valid reason to hate me. Ever since 'I arrived', things changed in the family for worse, or so she says. I remember feeling aversion to a woman who tried to flirt with Tommy as often as she could, and I wanted Tommy to be happy, but I couldn't stand her mainly because I wasn't able to spend enough time with him. And so it has happened to Hayden, given to the fact Robin seems to like to hang out with me more than with her cousin. I think she's always treated me the best she could, even if she was mean. For some reason, Robin says, Hayden can't handle Brooke's long 'absence' and my presence together. I hear her voice fading away as everyone is saying goodbye to her, and even when nobody told me to stay in my room, I decided I didn't want to spoil the moment for her.

"I don't dislike her," I say to Francis, though he's still lying down as usual, unconscious. "I just think she's been through a lot. I would be the same way, I think. I don't know. Back then, I'd react differently. I'm still trying to adapt myself here... but I know back then..."

Back then. Back where?

I look at Francis. I know I have never seen him before that day we found him. His face isn't familiar. But he has become familiar to me, and the only part of the world I was born in that I could bring with me. Sometimes I wonder which colors are in his eyes. Or what his face would look like if he smiled. Was he someone's brother... someone's son... friend...?

"We're pretty much the same, aren't we?" I tell him. "Foreigners out of time. Orphans, maybe. Francis. I wished you could hear me. I wished you could tell me why we're here. I'm lost. I don't know what to do. I don't belong to this place. Why did you bring us here?"

Of course, he says nothing. My hand touches the golden bracelet with his name carved on it. Sighing with frustration, I lean my forehead upon his inert palm and remain there, silent. From outside the room, Robin's and Mrs. Craw's voices bounce against the walls. Mrs. Craw is better than her husband at dealing with Robin because she knows she's still her daughter. And Robin is trying hard to pull her family together again, even when she feels the rejection of her father.

"Hayden said that a lot of bad things happened to this family ever since I arrived, and that they would continue to happen as long as I remain here." I whisper to Francis. "I don't wanna go back. But... I don't know where to go. I don't have anywhere else to go... I... I need answers. I need you to wake up and help me. Please. Please, Francis...