meeting you ; raura

thoughts

Laura's POV

I remained still for a few minutes in his embrace. This felt so warm. This was a feeling that no one had ever given me. Formerly I was bullied horribly. I was verbally abused, beaten, insulted, and always alone. What could I do? I was an insecure girl of 14 years. I was bullied every day. Day in and day out without people helping me. Maybe I'd have to say what I felt. Maybe I'd have to let the world know where I was. Maybe I should have screamed out that I was tired. I was done with everyone. But after 2 years I moved to California, I spoke to no one from the past. On the new school I was acting different. Afraid to be rejected for who I really was. When i finally became myself, people started to bully me again. Especially Maia , McKenzie and Delancy. Boys never liked me, i wasn't good enough to be a girlfriend. People never realize how insecure girls can be if you say just the right words.

Just say a girl is ugly and she will never like what she sees in the mirror. Call a girl fat and she stops eating, say a girl is worthless and she starts cutting herself. Hurt her physical and she wants to die. Break her heart and she will never trust.

That all happened to me. I struggled with Anorexia a year ago. I've been called ugly, do you think i think i'm pretty? They called me worthless a lot when i was 14. I started to cut. They hurted me physical, they made me wishing to die, i wished i would be asleep and never wake up. One boy played with me and broke my heart, i will never trust a boy fully. That was one of the reasons that Ross didn't knew this stuff. He knew a lot about me, because he is the one that i trust the most, i didn't trust him completely, but more than anyone i knew. It was almost over, everything, i haven't cut myself in weeks, I ate pretty normal now, but when a heart breaks it never heal again. A broken heart stays a broken heart. Still after all that i have been through.

I don't think i have a hard life. Yeah, sometimes it was hard for me, but it could be worst. Sometimes i cried, and i felt like a drama Queen. I didn't deserve to cry, because I'm worthless. People still don't know how it feels to be all left alone with feelings, nobody knew, nobody knows, you need to fix them all alone. But still, after 2 horrible years, i wait for someone that tells me that i was wrong, wrong about the world, that not all people are like that. The one that will say me how to live happily ever after. To live like everyone, all the people that wish that they would be loved. Someone that waited for a kiss from a prince. Well, i didn't need a prince, just a boy that would be there with me. That would be with me when i needed him. The boy that protect me from the dark. The boy that loves me for who i am. And i knew, that knows how hard life could be, if life is hard, it isn't the end.

updated again I'm on a roll aren't I eh? eh? haha Lolz xox -mya