100% honesty is too much to ask.
There is too much that happens in a lifetime.
Too many truths, too many deceits,
too many perspectives even to say what is a lie
and what is a truth.
I am guilty of lies and theft
yet I continue to act on them
sometimes to protect-
no. ALWAYS to protect.
Although.. to protect who?
That is the question
and all the difference.
So then I just go back to suffocating
and asking when this all ends.
When can I finally let it all go-
all the feelings of self hatred,
all the secrets leading up to it,
all the fear associated with letting it all go...
I realize I'm not fucking fearless.
I am a coward.
