Checkmate (Joshler AU)

Chapter 24

Josh's POV

"Ty-Ty, baby, wake up," I whisper, rubbing small circles on his back.

"I don't wanna wake up," he murmurs, a small pout appearing on his pale face.

"You have to. I've got to take you to your chemo session. Your mom says I've gotta get you up and over to the hospital."

"Where's my mom," he asked, turning over to me as he rubbed his eyes.

"She said she had to get back to work and that she wishes she could take you."

"Oh..."

"C'mon, baby. Get up."

He slowly sat up before falling back down and curling up.

"Ty-Ty, babe, you gotta get up," I sighed, pulling him into my lap.

A small groan escaped his slightly chapped lips as I stood, carrying him to his closet.

"Pick an outfit, Tyler."

He lazily pointed and I pulled the outfit out.

I instructed him how and when to move as I dressed him quickly. He was so small, barely any fat on his gorgeous body.

He'll be okay. The chemo will make the cancer go away. He'll be fine. Everything will be fine.

I hadn't realized I was staring at him until he broke my trance with his melodic voice.

"Why are you crying, Jish?"

"I'm not."

Tyler lifted his hand and gently wiped his hand against my wet cheek.

"You're just so beautiful that staring at you is like staring at the sun."

"The sun's slowly dying too, Josh," Tyler frowned.

"That's not what I mea-"

"I know what you meant and I need you to know that when I die, I want you to be okay," he sighed out.

"If, it's 'if' you die."

"No, it's when, Josh. One day I have to die."

"And that will be in seventy years, Tyler."

"But if it's sooner-"

"It won't be."

"I'm talking, Josh. Please just listen. This is hard for me too."

"I'm sorry, keep going."

"If it is sooner, I want you to be okay. You don't have to be happy right away but I need you to get there. I don't want you to hurt forever. I can't have you hurt forever. Can you promise me that?"

"B-but I-"

"Can you promise me just that one thing?"

"I-I... Tyler, baby," I croaked, tears threatening to spill over.

"If you promise me that then I'll promise to try to keep living. I'll fight harder than before."

"P-promise," I asked, my voice cracking as I stuttered.

"I promise," he said, the impact of confidence and a warrior spirit behind his words.

"Then I-I promise t-too," I tried in my most confident voice, only coming out as a small murmur as I grabbed Tyler's hand.

Without another exchange of words, we walked out the door to the first of Tyler's many chemo sessions.

I had only wished I had more time to admire his gorgeous face, his soft lips, his adorable floof of hair before the week of nothingness came.

Nothingness.