Identity

1

Hell. Fucking. No."

The women that was covered in scrubs and a germ mask rolled her eyes at me as she prepped the needles she planned to dig in my arm.

"Look, I know you can stop this entire encounter with a snap of your finger but it is part of the deal, you know that." I glared at her as she slowly approached me with the needles.

I knew it was part of the deal. The deal included their top scientists and doctors to poke and pry at me to try to figure out what exactly made me tick. I knew it was a waste of their time. I have been to physicals like any other underage child at the time, and the doctor didn't find anything different. I never knew why I was the way I was back then, I just knew that I didn't want people to know about it.

"This is a waste of tim-" she interrupted me by sliding the needle into my arm, drawing blood from my veins. I didn't flinch. I just stopped talking.

"Okay, now we just have a few standard CAT scans and you can go home."

I scoffed, "And where exactly is home?" I decided not to look her in the eyes. I didn't really want to hear her answer. I wanted to believe that what I was doing was right, that I was doing it to save them, but why do I feel so wrong about it all?

"Well, I'm not exactly sure. All I know is that there is a women cop outside ready to take you wherever you are suppose to go."

I looked down to my feet, they were bare and dangling from the examination table I sat on firmly. This was really happening. I have to actually live a new life with a new background. I have to lie about who I really am. I can't see my family, I can't be me anymore. How could I let it get this far?

I felt myself start to sink into the darkness. I start to grip the side of the bed with all my might. All the voices in my head kept chanting.

This is all your fault.

I felt my heart rate start to pick up and blood started to boil.

You ruined your family. You ruined your life.

I felt the bed start to crush under my gripping hands. I felt my bones shaking as all control of my body left me. But then I felt something. It almost burned my skin as the gentle touch was placed on my hand.

"Shh, it's okay darling. Just calm down." I slowly opened my eyes, feeling the sweat on my forehead starting to form. My breathing was heavy and my body shaking. I saw the doctor... or scientists... whatever she was, look at me like a worried mother would a crying child. She didn't even seem fazed by the fact I was able to crush the bed till the cotton was spilling out from the ripped seams.

"I- I can't do this." I let out a gasp of air that seemed filled with all my darkness. She looked at me with sad eyes and such a small smile.

"It's okay darling. I know this is hard. You'll get use to things soon enough."

But was she right? Was it really that easy? Was time really what I need to be okay with this new situation I was in?

I felt my heart crack at the thought of ever being okay with this.

---

I leaned my head against the window looking at the new area around me. I think we were somewhere in Nevada but I couldn't be sure. I could see small shops in a cozy little town that seemed like no one really knew about. I saw an old women sweeping the curb next to a small bakery. My heart warmed for her. She seemed so frail, and the dirk that littered her storefront seemed so important to her. I sat there wondering why no one was helping her.

As the car continued on I then saw a man on a small step stool trying to reach a sign with a paint brush. He was wearing overalls and a baseball cap to cover his eyes from the shining sun.