Room 221 || Lucaya

Stand By You

MAYA'S POV:

Yesterday was possibly the happiest day I have had ever since that night. After all these days of slowly running out of oxygen, yesterday felt as if the old Maya was still there, living somewhere inside of me, just waiting to come back.

I know that everyone else around me who has witnessed this gradual, internal downfall is quietly anticipating for the day where she makes her comeback.

But what about what I want?

Part of me is unsure that there is a "new Maya." In better words, maybe the Maya who stepped into Room 221 experienced things that shifted her outlook on life. Maybe she just changed for the better.

The Maya I am now is far different from the Maya who walked into a party purely out of rage to prove a boy wrong.

The Maya I am now is far different from the Maya who allowed a boy to drive fear into her soul and use her vulnerability as a weapon against her.

The Maya I am now is far different from the Maya who held her younger sister tight in her arms, assuring her that together, they would survive this home built of glass that had nothing but hammers lying around.

The Maya I am now is different.

"Goodbye, Maya," Paisley chirps as she tugs onto my sweatshirt on the front porch of her classmate.

Her sweet, innocent voice immediately snaps me out of my daze, drawing my attention back to the present. "Goodbye, sweetheart. Have fun," I say flatly, the words leaving my mouth not quite matching my emotionless expression.

"We will pick her up for nine tomorrow morning, right?" Lucas asks Paisley's friend's mother.

As Paisley and her friend, Ava, run off into the hallway, her mother glares over to me with a pressuring eye before responding. "Yes, that would be perfect. Thanks for bringing her over."

Lucas glances over to me, signaling to begin walking back to the truck. "Thank you, Mrs. Brown. See you tomorrow."

Before I can reach the truck, Lucas scurries over and opens the door for me. "My lady," he greets with a phony upperclass British accent.

"You're an idiot," I giggle as I accept the gesture, sliding into the passenger seat.

Before jogging around the truck to get to the driver's seat, Lucas shuts my door. "I know!"

"So, what should we do today?" Lucas questions enthusiastically, throwing his hands into the air.

I raise my eyebrows in response. "I don't know. What would Lucas Friar do on a typical Saturday night?"

"Hm," he ponders, scrunching his face together as he backs out of the driveway. "Saturday nights for a college guy usually mean trouble, so I'm up for a new suggestion."

As the truck passes several houses in the neighborhood, I loose focus on the conversation as I gaze out the window in admiration. Hundreds of homes lined up next to one another, each holding a different family with a unique story that is unknown to those looking from the outside.

On the outside, each house looks like the home to a perfect, loving, and complete family.

On the inside, a different story could be told.

Thinking back on my childhood, or what was left of it after waking up to only one parent, my house slowly started feeling less like home, and more like a building that trapped the chaos from the outside world.

I wonder if from the outside, others could see the pain that lived in that house.

"Parties?"

Lucas keeps his eyes on the road. "Huh?"

"You went to a lot of parties?" I whisper in a monotone voice, returning my focus to the window.

"A few. Riley, um," Lucas mumbles, realizing that he couldn't turn back. "She wasn't a big 'party girl.'"

I raise my eyebrows in response. "I noticed."

Silence lingers in the truck, yet again, as each of us are unsure of what to say next. The radio is muted; the only sound heard was the tires driving across the pavement.

"We should go to a party then."

Suddenly, Lucas slams on the brakes in the middle of an unoccupied road. My body jerks forward as the truck comes to an immediate halt. "You want to what?"

I sigh, not wanting to repeat the words once more. "You heard me, Lucas. I want to go to a party."

Continuing to drive, Lucas throws confused glances my way every few seconds. I can sense his hesitation from a mile away.

"Penelope," he mumbles carefully. "Why do you want to do that?"

Why do you want to do that, Maya?

The word "party" sends a wave of emotions over my body that are too much to handle. Every single detail from that night plays over and over again in my mind until I begin to feel like I am reliving it. The word reminds me of one of many reasons my collapsed right before my eyes.

But I want to be normal again.

But I don't even know what normal feels like anymore.

"I don't know," I whisper quietly away from Lucas, barely audible.

"You do know," Lucas corrects firmly as he places his hand on top of mine. "You just won't tell me. Come on, Penelope, talk to me."

I sigh, the cool air hitting my warm breathes. "I want to be normal again."

Lucas awkwardly shifts his body, afraid to use the wrong words to express his opinions. He clenches his lips tightly together, holding back his thoughts.

"You can't rush this, Maya," he explains with a deeper tone as we pull up to the apartment complex.

"I can't rush what?!" I question fiercely, my voice rising slightly.

Lucas stares straight into my eyes, locking me into place. His eyes have the indescribable power to see right through my lies, insecurities, and fears and look directly into my soul.

"You can't rush this process. Why would you want to ruin this?!"

I lose it. "Ruin what?!"

"Us!" Lucas shouts louder, aggressively throwing his hands up in the air. I purse my lips together in frustration. The unbearable feeling of anger slowly lifts off my shoulders as I see the true fear inhabiting Lucas' eyes.

The fear that I could go back to the pain of that night.

"Us," he whispers again, in a softer and mellow tone.

Without an ounce of hesitation, my entire body falls into his embrace. His arms wrap around my body, encasing me in his protection.

"If you want to go, we will go," Lucas complies, the words mumbled into my hair. "But I am never leaving your damn side."