I hate the way I am
The girl who can never find love
Who feels that heart wrenching pain of loneliness that only a lover can fix
As she is smothered by the obnoxious love of other couples
I hate the way I am
because I confide in online dating that leads to nothing but empty words
I'm too scared to even send a message to my tinder matches
But when I muster up the courage I am left unanswered
Left hanging in the wind or in a bottomless well
It doesn't matter how it starts, but I always end up unanswered
It adds up
and it starts to hurt as I ponder if I was ever good enough for a fucking response
Speak to me ?
Love me ?
I'm Here ...
Please...
It's funny how I think anything has changed
I've been the same way since I was when I was fourteen
Talking to strangers on wishbone
Crossing my fingers for a man to call my own and not a random dick pick
I allowed myself to fall in love with a unfaced stranger hoping that once their face is unveiled that they'll turn into my personal lover
Only to find a girl younger then me ready to be my friend
I remember praying
down on my knees to
God, Allah, My dead great grandmother, spirits, anybody
To find me someone to love with all my heart
Because it hurts so bad
God it hurts
and it never stops hurting
It the pain only increases as years pass
and sadly friendship cannot heal my pain
I've come to except my eternal solitude
Keeping my virginity in a closed wooden box with no doors, no windows, no lights
Let my womb become a dark angry cave of despair
I hate the way I am
So I'll just sit in a box away from myself.
