Black Raven | Wattys 2018

Chapter Fourteen

We go through life over thinking. We worry about having regrets, about getting hurt, about failing, about other people's opinions, and we never get the chance to truly live in the moment. We constantly put aside things for the next day because we think we have all the time in the world, but that's not true. Unexpectedly, our lives can run out of tomorrows, and everything we didn't do because we over thought it, will be just a "what might have been".

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I skipped school the next day and went to the hospital again. Dr. Campbell, the lady doctor from the day before, along with a radiologist whose name I didn't pay attention to, performed the head CT scan. I lay flat on my back on an examination table that slid in and out of a big, box-like machine with a hole in the center. I was really nervous; I lay still, trying not to move, and prayed to God that they wouldn't find anything wrong with me. Dr. Campbell spoke to me through a speaker to keep me calm. The whole procedure lasted around ten minutes. After it, I waited in the waiting room for Dr. Campbell to come in with the results. The waiting room was crammed with patients; the whole hospital was crowded. Guess, I chose a bad day to go. She approached me wearing a concerned, kind of sad face. I sighed profoundly and prepared for the worst. I stood up and asked her calmly, "So...What's wrong with me?" She looked at me with same concerned, sad expression she had when she approached me and answered, "Well, the scan showed some abnormalities on your brain, but..., I can't make a diagnosis yet. I need to study your results carefully and consult with other neurologists first to be a hundred percent sure". I looked at her puzzled and asked, "Abnormalities? What does that mean? How long will it take you to study my test results?" She looked at me pityingly and responded, "Well, it looks like you have a brain tumor in the Occipital Lobe of your brain. This area is basically in charge of your vision, so that might be why you've been having headaches and troubles with your eyesight. But again, I need to study carefully your test results to be entirely sure. I promise I will get on it right now, and maximum in two days I'll call you". Disconcerted, I looked at her and said, "Thanks," and quickly walked away from there. I really hated hospitals.

I felt really sick; I just wanted to crawl into my bed and stay there for the rest of the week. When I got home, I rushed to the bathroom and puked. Only Scott was in the house because he was sick and didn't go to school. Lena was at work, and the boys were at school. I was washing my mouth when Scott startled me. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"-He asked worriedly. I couldn't contain my tears; they started streaming down my face, one after the other. Scott hugged me hard, and I could feel his worry for me. He just held me until I calmed myself down. I never told him I was dying, but I think he suspected it. After I stopped crying, I pulled away from his embrace, stared deeply into his gray eyes, and asked randomly, "Don't you get scared when you think about the future? It doesn't scare you not knowing what lies ahead after we graduate?" He looked at me with a confused expression on his face and answered, "I don't like to think about the future. I just like to live in the moment, live one day at a time". I smiled sweetly at him, thinking about his answer. He stared back at me. Without thinking twice about it, I launched myself at him and kissed him. He was taken a back, so it took him a moment before he responded to my kiss. Suddenly, he pulled back; breathless and looking confusedly at me, asked, "What are you doing?" I smiled at him, put my hands on his cheeks, and quoted him, "living in the moment". Then, I kissed him again. He didn't pull back this time; instead, his wet lips kissed me back passionately. Still kissing fiercely, we moved to his room.

Pieces of clothes
covered the floor.
Passionate kisses,
soft moans,
heavy breaths,
our naked bodies
covered in sweat.
Our souls intertwined.
Blew was my mind.

At night, after everyone fell asleep, I went down to the laundry room. I looked at every way possible to open the metal door, but I found none. I felt really tired and weak, but I wasn't ready to give up. I dropped to the floor and stayed seated with my legs crossed for a while, admiring and analyzing the door. Suddenly, the lights went out and the house went cold. I started hearing a humming. It came from the living room. I stood up and followed the sound. As I got closer to the sound, I realized it was again a girly, kiddy voice singing, "You are my sunshine". Another kiddy voice told her to shut up. I stopped in front of the couch. Masie Coleman was sitting with her legs crossed in the middle of the living room, braiding a doll's hair and singing. Meanwhile, his brother, William Coleman, stood in front of her telling her to shut up; they were fighting like siblings do. When they realized I was staring at them, they stopped fighting and stared back at me. "You're pretty."-Masie said smiling. Seeing them didn't scare me anymore, on the contrary, I felt sad for them; soon, I was gonna be them.

I don't know why, but staring at them made me remembered that Lena had said that there was another entrance to the basement. I rushed to the patio and stood in front of the laundry room, but from outside. I remember thinking that if there was another entrance, it definitely had to be there. I went into the house again and looked for a shovel that was in the laundry room, along with some other gardening stuff. It was really dark outside and I could barely see what I was doing, but I started to dig. I dug a lot of dirt, but I wasn't getting anything. Covered in sweat and feeling tired, I sat down on the ground and threw the shovel next to me. "You think we're down there."-Dylan scared me. I looked up at him and said, "Yes. I think so". He sat down next to me and for a while, we both stared at the hole I had dug. Without looking at him I said, "You were right." He didn't answer right away, so I looked at him and he had an eyebrow arched. He didn't understand what I had meant, so I added, "I'm dying". He stared longingly at me and said, "I'm sorry".

Scott appeared out of nowhere and startled me. "What are you doing?"-He asked with a puzzled face.

"Uhhh, trying to find the supposedly sealed basement of the house."-I answered truthfully. I didn't really know what to answer, so I went with the truth.

Still bewildered, he asked, "Why?"

"Because I think there's a tornado coming our way."-I joked.

He looked at me puzzled. Ignoring my answer, he extended his hand to me, and said, "Come on. You need to sleep".

Dylan, who I had forgotten was there, said with a sad smile, "He loves you". I smiled kindly at him, and then, I took Scott's hand. I was tired and it was really dark, so I figured I would continue digging the next day.