Rag Doll

P.S. You're a rag doll

Porcelain dolls rule the world. Everyone wants one, searching high and low for that one perfect porcelain doll. Their beautiful features and slim bodies can win everyone over. Perfect in every way.

Perfect Body

Perfect Smile

Perfect Hair

Perfect Personality

Perfect. 

What happens when you're a rag doll in a world full of porcelain dolls?

You're unwanted, unregarded, and discarded. 

Mirrors become your enemies and darkness your best friend.

you learn how to play with scissors and cut the worst parts of you to become that perfect porcelain doll everyone is so desperate to have.

"Sorry, didn't see you there"

"who's she? has she been here this whole time?"

"Oh, sweety. you think you look pretty like that?"

"I Guess she's ok, she would be better if she lost a few pounds"

"She would look better if she was taller"

"If her nose was slimmer"

"If her legs were thinner"

"If her lips were fuller"

"If her face was squarer" 

"You would have a boyfriend by now if you change"

"If you stop being shy"

"why can't you just talk to people"

"What's wrong with you? why can't you be normal?"

 According to society, I am dysfunctional. 

Every day I have to go through my day with everyone's judgment on my shoulders. pressing down until I collapse. I know the day is coming, the day where everything is going to be too much for me, the day when I fall and I won't be able to get myself back up.

Every day is the same thing with me. my mind over runs my whole self.

"Should I change? maybe if I lose a few pounds? maybe if I stop being so shy?"

I wish I could fit in, I wish I could be different but it's just not who I am. I wish everyone could see that I can't just change from one day to the next though everyone is expecting me to.

I'm expecting me to. 

I can't talk without choking on my words, I've lived all my life in silence.

I would always watch but never played.

Always dreamed but never did.

All my life I've been living in a shell not knowing how I got there or how to get out. 

not only am I a rag doll on the outside but also on the inside. always looked at like a rare species or with pity because I was different in every way possible. 

The one without friends.

The one who didn't speak.

The one who was different.

I'm still a rag doll. 

I just don't think it's a bad thing anymore.

There are so many porcelain dolls out there that it's overrated and unoriginal.

Each rag doll is original, every single one has its own unique features, not one is exactly the same. 

acceptance is what I wanted for so many years so I accepted myself and that's the only person's acceptance that I need.

Porcelain, rag, china, or paper; they're all dolls at the end.