It's been a week, but it honestly feels like a year.
I remember talking to Rosita that day; she told me I should go after you and tell you everything that had happened, that you would open the door for me no matter what time. But when I arrived at your house, the door was already opened and you were already laying on the floor, lifeless.
I can't help but wonder what could have happened if I arrived just a few minutes earlier, I mean, I don't have Peacemaker and I'm not the best shooter in Purgatory but we could get away from whatever killed you.
But that didn't happen, did it?
So now I'm just sitting on my bedroom's floor thinking about you and how I am so stupid for letting you go.
I mean, the last time I saw you, you were trying to apologize and I just kept pushing you away. I'm so sorry for that, I was mad, but I shouldn't have treated you that way and I should have never sent you that last message.
I can't believe this is actually happening, Nicole. I just want to go back in time to two weeks ago, when everyone was fine and alive, but Wynonna told me it's too dangerous and I should never try bringing people back to life.
So all I can do right now is lay on my bed and stare at the ceiling. I don't feel like going out and getting stuff done yet, I mean, I will have to someday, right? But all I can think about right now is that other version of my future, the one with you in it.
You know, we never actually talked about it, but we could leave Purgatory someday (when the curse was over, of course, I would never want to leave Wynonna, specially if she needed me!). Or we could even travel around the world and then comeback, you would be Purgatory's sheriff once Nedley retired and we could be happy.
We could get married someday, but that's just an idea. I never knew your thoughts about this, but I think it's because we are too young. Anyway, if you wanted to, it would be a pleasure to be your wife in the future, Nicole.
Now the one thing I can't stop thinking about is that I never told you everything that I wanted and I didn't have the chance to apologize for my mistakes.
I made big mistakes earlier that day, Nic. And I regret all of them. I can't even tell you how sorry I am.
Everyone misses you, Nicole. I can see how sad Wynonna, Doc, Dolls, Rosita and Jeremy are about all that is happening and Nedley can't stop talking about how much of a good cop you were. I couldn't agree more with him.
I could stay like this for hours, trying to tell you everything, but it's just not worth it.
So, I guess I will just grief for a few days and then try to move on with my life, how bad can it be?
I don't know what will happen then, but one thing I know now is that your absence hurts like hell.
--🌙--
idk if that's good but i just had this idea and i wanted to share it with the world
also sorry about any grammar mistakes, i'm not exactly fluent in english, but i hope you liked it :)
