Chapter 1

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A/N: To whoever reads this, this is the first time I've posted anything on Wattpad in at least a couple of years. I mostly write poetry, but this work will be novel-length prose. It's a story I've had stuck in my head for a while. I'll try to update as frequently as possible. Hope you enjoy!

(Also, this is a story that includes a character struggling with mental health issues and suicidal thoughts. It won't be graphic, but please don't read if this material could be triggering to you.)

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He was nowhere, and he was nothing. Where he was, wasn't dark, but there was no light either. There was no sound, no emotion, no physical touch. Here, there was no pain, no suffering. Here, he wouldn't even be. Oblivion. He'd reached it.

But all at once, he was everything again. A heavy, almost crushing weight pressed down on him. He felt his mind spread, reaching the furthest corners of the nothingness he was in, and then expanding beyond that. Slivers of thoughts streamed through his consciousness, nothing coherent, but still there. He was in darkness. Specks of lights popped and splattered across his vision. A slow hum, with variations in frequency and volume, surrounded him.

The first parts of his body that he could feel again were his eyelids. They pressed down, heavy, as if trying to shield him from the world outside. The specks of light stilled. Now, there was only black. The rest of him slowly came to. He felt smooth fabric beneath his fingertips, and perhaps a thin sheet lain across his body. He felt it against his feet, arms, and legs, but he couldn't move. The heavy weight was still there, now centered on his chest. He felt something plastic on his face, in his mouth, and intruding into his throat. It was kept in place by a strap tied tight around his head, cutting into his ears. Cool air pushed inside his lungs. In. Out. His shaggy hair was sweaty and matted against his scalp and forehead. He wanted so badly to push it away from his eyes.

Despite not being able to move, he felt oddly calm at first. But as the minutes passed, he felt himself slowly getting more and more tense. His chest constricted further. His fingers twitched, and after a few more moments, his eyelids began to lose their heaviness. He peeled them back, slowly blinking a few times. After adjusting to the dull light now hitting his eyes, he looked around and took in his surroundings.

The first thing he noticed was that the ceiling was gray. Then he looked down. He was in a bed, a hospital bed. There was indeed a white sheet on him, as well as numerous wires connected to his arms and a mask on his face. The tube in his throat pushed down his tongue on its way to his esophagus. He didn't like it. What he disliked even more, however, was the sight beyond his bed.

The hospital room was small, with no other patients in it besides himself. There was a cushioned bench to the left, and sitting on it were his father and his best friend, Sophie. His dad was asleep, with one arm leaning on the armrest and propping up his head. Even when unconscious, his face maintained a stern look. His dark brows were furrowed and the corners of his mouth pulled down into a deep frown. Next to him sat Sophie. She was awake, but barely. One leg was crossed the other, and her honey-blonde hair spilled past the lower half of her face like a curtain. Her chocolate eyes, drooping and shadowed by dark circles, drew slowly over a page of the book she was holding. After just a few seconds of him watching her, she glanced up toward the bed.

They made eye contact, but it took a moment for her to register what she was seeing. When she did, her eyes seemed to grow twice as large. She threw her book down on the floor and started violently shaking his father, never breaking eye contact with him.

"Oh my God," she cried out, tears brimming at her eyes. "Oh my God. He's awake."

Flashes of memory started infiltrating his foggy mind. He knew why he was here. By seeing his father and Sophie in front of him, in a hospital room, he knew that he was still alive. He didn't want this. He let his eyelids fall closed again, unsuccessfully attempting to drown it all out.

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Aug 07, 2017 ⏰

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