Honest || h.s.

Emotions

Harry.

Art terms fill my mind as I trail shapes into the condensation of my glass of water. So far, I've learned that she likes her chais sweet, doesn't know how to pronounce "inertial" even though she knows "inertia," and she has a habit of tucking her hair behind her ear.

I watch as she scribbles down more things, glancing to and from her textbook.

"So... the innert-ee-uhl frame..." she mumbles to herself, and I giggle, not for the first time. She glances my way, her eyes drowning in thoughts, giving her a confused expression. "What's so funny? You keep laughing at me."

"I-It's inertial," I chuckle, pulling my hands inside my sleeves. I can't get rid of my stupid dimples. She keeps making me laugh, or smile. It's stupid. But then, I don't mind all that much.

She blinks, glancing back at the textbook, her cheeks a little more pink than before.

I shake my head, grinning down at my half-eaten cupcake. I've introduced her to the phenomenon of the cupcakes at the local bakery--they're homemade, hand-iced, and delicious. Barbara, one of my primary school teachers, created the bakery after she retired from teaching, and now works here most mornings, making the cupcakes herself. I hold a special place in my heart for her and this place. Business isn't always great, but she manages, and I love to stop in here and help out, when I can.

Skylar continues writing, her brow knit in concentration. I find myself watching her in earnest, trying not to be obvious about how much I keep chewing on my lip. I want to punch myself. I'm being ridiculous. And invasive.

"D-Do--o..." I trail off, take a breath, and start again. She looks up patiently. "Do you like the cupcake?"

"I love it. It's seriously just the right amount of chocolate."

I huff, poking at the edge of her plate, nudging it slightly to the left. "You g-got the.. chocolate mocha one, of course it has enough chocolate!"

She laughs, tilting her head at her plate. She's barely eaten any, but I can't blame her--she still has yet to finish her chai. "I just really love chocolate, okay?"

"Me too. I'm sorry," I grin sheepishly, unable to contain myself. I pull my hands back to my lap. "I'll stop distracting you. Do you w--wa-ant to cover the rest of the chapter? Y-you seem to know it pretty well..."

I don't want to leave quite yet, but it's been nearly two hours, and Mum might start to worry.

She presses the end of the pen to her lip, frowning at her paper. I stare, but I swear I don't mean to.

"...Sure," she finally sighs, shutting her textbook. Her wistful glance scans the uneaten cupcake as she puts her stuff away.

"I--I can get a box for you," I jump up eagerly, my palms on the table to steady myself. Before she can decline, I hurry to the counter, slipping behind it to grab a box. I'm welcome back here as long as they're not busy. Barbara chuckles from where she's wiping down counters, her eyes twinkling when I look up at her.

"How's it going?" She whispers, and I feel myself blush. Of course she thinks I'm on a date.

I chuckle awkwardly, climbing to my feet with the small cardboard box in my hand. "It's j-just a study session," I shake my head at her.

"Alright. Do you want anything to go? Here, take these for both of you, I was going to throw them out anyway."

Barbara ducks to dish several fancy cupcakes into two separate boxes. They weren't about to be thrown out, I know, but she's handing me the box before I can stumble out a frantic, "No, it's fine, really--"

"Nonsense, take some to your Mum and Gem, and see if she wants to take some, too." Barbara smiles, shooing my out from behind the counter after shoving the boxes into my arms.

I return to the table with a bright red face, setting the box down in front of Skylar. "Barbara insists we take these home," I say, picking up my bag, which I never opened this whole time of sitting here. I knew I wouldn't need to actually study; I'm not sure why I brought it in.

"Oh," Skylar's eyes grow wide at the box. "Did you--pay for--?"

"No, no," I shake my head quickly. "They're on the house, I g-guess. Seriously, it's okay. Take some."

She looks up at me. My inhales stop abruptly. I stand trapped.

"You sure?"

"Positive," I breathe slowly.

She looks back at the box, then at Barbara, who has grabbed the broom and is now sweeping, whistling softly behind the counter. Seeming to justify her thoughts, she gathers the box in her arms, offering to carry mine, as well. I vaguely wonder if I should step up and carry everything for her instead of letting her carry my box of cupcakes, but decide against it, thinking it would be better if I didn't have to reach awkwardly under her arms to take the boxes from her. The image of myself somehow tripping, dropping the boxes--no. I cringe.

"Clumsy," I say to myself as we leave. We call thanks to Barbara, and she waves and says she expects us again sometime, at which Skylar looks at me with a shy smile, and I'm glowing as we head out to the car. I get the door for her, then climb in on my side, turning on some acoustic tunes I think she might like. I'm less nervous than before, after sitting with her for so long, but feel myself gradually begin to shake. The relaxed feeling that the bakery gives me fades slowly away, and I find myself bouncing my knee as she directs me to her home. I pull up in the neat, paved drive, admiring her beautiful front lawn. It's not unlike ours, and actually, only about two blocks away. She thanks me, leans to give me a hug. I panic and lift an awkward arm, trying not to mess this up. It's brief, I don't remember it as well as I want to, but soon she's gone and disappearing with a wave through her front door, and only one box of cupcakes remains in my passenger seat.

Trembling all over, I push a hand through my hair, pulling out to head home and hopefully make it to my own driveway before I lose it.

I pull up in front of the garage and pull my phone out. My finger fumble the keys, I have to reenter the number twice, but eventually I reach him.

"What's up, mate?"

"Jackson," I breathe, nearly panting, my eyes wild. "You aren't study going to believable, my just happened is so nice, and cupcakes."

Jackson laughs. "Start from the beginning, man."

"She's not something I'm familiar with, but I really don't want to mess this up. I want to know her. I want to do something for myself, for once. I think she's open to that."

"What? Dude, who did you see? What? Is this about the artsy girl you totally had eyes for last week?"

I take in a deep breath, feeling a grin creep over my mouth. I'm giggling. Giggling.

"I like her, Jackson. I'm being so, so incredibly dumb right now. I hate this."

"I can tell," he chuckles. "Anything else...?"

"We studied at the bakery. She treats me like I'm normal."

"Dude! The bakery, sweet. How'd she like it?"

"She liked it, I think." I pause, closing my eyes. "I fricking love hugs. I can't remember it, though."

"That sounds great, dude."

"It was. I need to go. Thank you."

"Anytime."

I hang up. He's used to mini-rants, when I'm bursting with thoughts, and usually I can let it all out over the phone. But as I hang up, I'm still. Fucking. Smiling.

"You," I say to myself aloud, "are being ridiculous."

I get out of the car and head inside.

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It was short, but, meh. Hope you enjoyed. :)))))

THERE'S MORE SOON.

I LOVE YOU.