Forgotten

The Past is Just As Relivent

We had been playing my game for whay seemed like forever but it was just once a day, everyday, for the past month. Yet he says nothing. He hardly ever looks at me. It's like he isn't there but he's there.

The order from Mathers finally came to where I can be back in my room without shackles. My privledges came back as well once Mathers and I started actually speaking words and not grunts. Not like I need to go outside now. HE won't move from the game. He says we can't stop until I win then we can do something else. So far, that day hasn't come.

I start to wonder if it's just my imagination but then the next day he's there again for another game.

He doesn't come to me in my dreams anymore. It's just complete darkness and I have no idea how to get it back or get him back.

"Do I know you?" I ask one day as we sit across from one another.

The winter is slowly fading into spring which is just like a mop. It rains constantly and hardly ever has sunshine. I look out the window next to me and see the raindrops hitting the window then sliding down to the ground.

"Your turn." He says.

"What's the point? I can already tell your going to win." I say crossing my arms.

"You can't give up."

"I'm not giving up. I'm ready to start a new game."

"You can't start something when you haven't even finished what's 8n front of you." He is still looking at the board. "It's your turn."

I look down at the board pieces. He's about two steps away from winning. "There's still no point." I say, "Your just going to move to the right then to the left and I'm going to lose again because I'm no where close to that."

"Just move a piece and stop being so stubborn." He says rubbing his temple.

I'm so aggravated at this point. As if this game is what I want to talk about. As if I want to sit here without him looking at me. What is up with this damn game?

"I'm done playing." I say sitting back in my seat.

He's literally the only other person in this facility that I know that can even have the mentality to play this game but that's not even what I want.

"Why?" He asks.

"Why what?"

"Why give up?"

"Because there's no point."

"So you give up when things seem like they're already done?"

"No I give up when there's no point and we both know what I really care about right now." He slightly looks up to me but then quickly looks out the window.

"Exactly. Now who's given up?" I roll my eyes then fling a marble to a spot then get up and leave.

***
Walking back into my room I'm so frustrated at him. He makes me so angry but I can't help but have feelings for him. Kinds of feelings that don't just go away or stop. My heart goes out for this guy who continuously chooses to ignore my cry for help. Help understanding him, help understanding what this is, what we are. I just need clarification.

I let out a grunt as I frantically kick things around in my room.

Oh damn this boy. Damn him I say.

As I recollect myself i try to think of a way to talk to him again. But nothing. There's nothing. I lie down and look up at the ceiling. Maybe if I think hard enough, he'll appear and help me figure this out.