Poetry... I guess

Cold sheets

My room is always cold
I shiver under my blanket and ball the blanket up in my fists
I imagine that there is someone there
Not specifically a boy or a girl
Just someone

Thinking about someone being there makes my mind shift to a relationship side of things
I mean, if someone were here, it wouldn't have to be anything more than platonic
I just love the idea of love
I love the idea of being close with someone
It's like a cute puppy that will stay with you every step of the way
Only it's illegal to have sex with dogs

But on the subject of love, why would it happen to me?
I sleep with a teddy bear, and I'm 17 years old
I brag about things that shouldn't necessarily be bragged about
I feel like I'm good at things I'm terrible at
I'm loud
I'm immature
I'm lonely

Do I want someone to fall in love with?
Or am I subconsciously looking for a life long babysitter?
Maybe I'm just looking for a heater for my bed.
Perhaps I'm just looking for a dedicated playmate.
All I know is I want someone to be with me that I know will stay with me.

What if that's why I'm drawn to fictional characters?
Fictional characters won't leave or run away.
You can manipulate them in any way possible.
You could do anything you want to them, but they aren't real.
You could find someone who dresses like them and acts like them ...
But they'll always have one thing off about them.
Their eyes aren't blue.
They aren't tall enough.
They're just barely too big.
Their hair is too short.

Nobody is perfect.
I get it.
People say they get it.
On the other hand, people don't act on it.
I overlook flaws in people.
I can adapt my outlook to make them seem perfect.
I'll do everything in my power to make them feel perfect.

I guess people want that fictional love...
The love where everything is perfect...
The love where there's no need for adapting...

The love where every bed is warm- even when alone.