In the Eye of the Cosmos

Chapter Eight

"I-I can't do it," she says, focusing her emerald eyes on the platform floor.

"What do you mean you can't do it?" demands Mentor Emmerson, slightly flustered by the fact that someone actually refused to meet her order.

I wonder if the girl pities me, pities my story, my weakness. Maybe that's why she refuses to fight me.

"I mean I'm not doing it, we -  we're supposed to learn how to fight off harmful beings not each other!" she exclaims, standing up  a little straighter with each word.

Damn, this girl has balls.

Mentor Emmerson walks closer to the platform, boring straight through the girls eyes and into her skull, "Look, if you don't fight each other how are you going to learn the skills to fight off all those harmful beings? If you don't want to do it now, then don't, but, then you won't learn how to. Now, get out the two of you, I'm not tolerating anymore of this disrespectfulness."

I nod at her words and quickly obey, not wanting to cause even more of a scene. I can feel their eyes on us as we walk out.

We sit on the steps entering the gym, the occasional wail of pain escaping from the door.

I begin to fidget with my nails, something to pass the time - or - really to focus on something else other than what just happened.

"Did you refuse to fight because I'm weak? Because you didn't want to see me lose?" I question, my voice cracking a little.

"Oh please, you're not weak," she scoffs.

"I did come close to last in all of the exercises we tried," I confirm.

"I didn't refuse to fight because I pitied you, I refused to fight because I don't believe in it," she began, a pained look washing over her eyes, "you have to believe in yourself more - accept your losses and move on, you'll get there someday."

I smile -  an attempt to rid the voice in my head constantly pushing myself to believe I'm a failure, believe that it isn't worth it, that I'll never get there.

But I won't let it get to me, not now.

"You're right." I say, in between jagged breaths, each word feeling like a knife scraping against my throat, the voices dull screams fading with each word.

Rapunzel flashes a toothy smile, her white, straight teeth gleaming in the hazy light. "Now that's more like it."

                                                                               ***

Rapunzel's real name, so she tells me, is Adele - Adele Stoneman and she, undoubtedly, is the biggest optimist I've ever met. As we talked outside on the steps, I found myself wishing I could be like her - wishing I could have her positivity, kindness, curves, big doe eyes, long blond hair, plump pink lips - she, was the epitome of perfect.

Since that talk, we've stuck together like two peas in a pod. Her warmth is contagious - I can't get enough of it.

We arrive at the dining hall, our legs sore from all the exercise. Drops of water land on my forearm as Addie scans the room for a table, her hair still damp from the shower.

"Hey!" I hear someone call. "Luna!"

Caspian waves at us from a table at the centre of the hall, a toothy grin playing on his lips.

I place myself at the edge of the table, sitting next to Caspian with Addie sat opposite. I can smell the minty aftershave wafting over him, tickling my nostrils as he moves.