Just me (moiscream)

Moving on

Dad was silent the entire way to the cemetery so was luke and so was i. But i wish they would talk .something our family rarely did since six months ago when there was rachel in the house. she isn't coming back.it was a hard thought to digest but i was pass all of it. i had come to terms with my mothe-rachel's death...

Or had i ? it didnt matter.

i turned to face my dad before i went too far thinking. He was tapping the steering wheel with his index finger that was almost entirely covered with blue plasters. i let out a faint chuckle that could barely be heard.But dad being ..well dad , noticed what i was looking at. The corners of his small mouth turning up, he began "the Chinese fried rice was worth it tee, well it wasnt exactly fried rice but it was supposed to be ". he stopped and looked at me expecting me to giggle along ,as he was already giggling to himself seeming pleased with his not so funny humour.I loved when my family showed emotion. Any at all. And trust me. I hadnt seen much at. all .these past few months . Rachel was at peace in the cemetery and home was turning in to a cemetery, in the absence of emotion from anyone- even me and i surely wasn't at peace.

"that. was fried rice?" i asked dad with a funny surprised expression(well it was meant to be funny ,okay i wasnt the best person at channelling my emotions but still. )

"oh common " he said with mild disappointment "was it that bad ?" with that he focused on the bare road again which seemed to stretch for miles with only dried up bushes lining it. i knew he had more going in his mind than fried rice at the moment but he was playing along. for me. He knew and saw how much of an effort i took to light up the atmosphere almost all the time. Deep down i know he appreciated it but he was too broken to atleast pretend everything was okay. because lets face .it no matter what everyone says everything wasnt okay. How could it be ?

i was resting my head on the dashboard, something i had gotten used to since rachel loved having me in her lap and thanks to my really small size i fit perfectly .(which was until i turned 13) Allowing me to rest my head on the dashboard sometimes. As u guys could imagine i was really small for my age . My father is-well..was a very optimistic doctor and he said my growth spurt was a bit slow and i shouldn't worry too much about it never forgetting to add at the end- 'besides most guys are in to the short cute sort.' A comment which was always followed by alot of eye-rolling.

bringing my train of thoughts back from the bitter past ,i leaned back on the seat, and peeped at my dad . "you know i was joking right? You must probably be the best fried rice.. making person in the world. I love the way u mix chicken, beef,pork..lamb " i stopped briefly in the middle trying to process actually what he had put in " pretty much everything 'meat' in the refrigerator!" i said with tinge of sarcasm.Dads focused expression instantly lightened up. He turned to me and made a ridiculous face (i think he was mimicking what i said ) i burst into laughter slapping my bear knee which was too close to the A/C. My chuckles died down but the triumphant smile on my dads face was still there.

Happy with the current atmosphere (not that it was all bubbly again but. you know. ) i tilted my head abit to catch a glimpse of luke's face. His face was empty. As usual. I never really liked him so i didnt bother making him feel better. Call me a bad sister but he isn't exactly the best brother either. His attention was on something outside. Or was he just looking at empty space like most of us did nowadays. His hair was messy but in a good looking way. He had his headphones on. which always made him oblivious of everything going on around him.Always in his own world. It was his way of coping with thingsi assumed sometimes . He had lost a great deal of weight and was no longer the flirty, hyper-active, rebellious 18 year old he once was. he was wearing a blue v- neck and a pair of shorts with stains of chocolate milk shake. He noticed my looking and i think we had a moment , for what felt like a milli-second. I almost saw what used to be my brother. But he vanished instantly. He nodded his head like he was agreeing with something , probably the typical emo songs i guessed he was listening to.

the car slowed down and came to a stop with a thud . I think we ran over something. My gaze was back on the road and i saw we were finally here. The Cemitério .Its what the native Portuguese called the cemetery. yeah i know quite a few languages owing to me being half asian and spending my time at quite a few countries since my grandparents on both sides shifted residences almost annually.

My dad was asian. I had inherited dads healthy black hair. it was up to my waist and was the thing i liked about me the most.i might sound like i love everything about me .
Haha. But trust me.I didn't. it had nothing to do with my looks just my ridiculous lack in height. i was around 5'2 and my dad was around 5'4 . Yeah i connected the dots centuries ago.

But to my dismay, luke was really tall. And had gotten rachel's blonde hair.which rippled down like a cascade of water . Not that it was long. just.. pretty. That would be the only term i see appropriate to describe his hair.I sometimes see rachel through him.His hazel eyes with brown freckles which i noticed changed colour. His perfect nose and cheek bones. You could easily mistake him for a C&K model if it wasnt for his weird sense of fashion which neither me or rachel could make sense of.

I wish i could swap DNA sometimes.