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Chapter one

I sat by the window watching as the rain splattered the window of my tiny apartment. I watched the little kids outside dancing and running around laughing like they had no care in the world. I occasionally smile at their carefreeness remembering how joyful and how happy I was 5 years ago.

I was so lost in my own thoughts I didn't even realize so much time has passed since I've been looking out from the window. I looked around to see the time and it was 10am and I moved my self around the living room while grabbing the remote to watch TV. I was switching through channels when I came across an award show. They were about to announce artist of the year so I just decided to stay on the channel for a while. I have never been much of a music girl so I wasn't really up to date with all the popular idol groups, but well it looked interesting so I just decided to stay and watch.

"Bangtan sonyeondan congratulations" The announcers announced their name and all I could hear was screaming screaming and more screaming. I didn't really know the scale of this group but I was guessing it was a well received group since one thing, they got the grand title and second thing, it seemed like they have a lot of fans.

"Bangtan sonyeondan...." I hummed under my breath as I took a chip from the bowl on the coffee table. I mentally counted them and it seemed like they had seven members. Not bad. I chuckled to see how shocked they looked when the announcers called out their name. Seemed like they weren't expecting it at all. I sticked around until they gave their thank you speech which was full of sentimental words and appreciation to everybody that helped them. I got distracted afterwards and switched to a cartoon channel. Weirdly, cartoons always calmed me and entertained me for a long time. What can I say? There isn't much for a girl with a walking disability to do around. Even if there was, I wasn't up for it.

I've never been an introverted girl. But ever since the accident, I rarely left my apartment. I have spent a lot of time recovering at the hospital until I was able to take care of myself since I had no relatives to do so. My family wasn't exactly rich but they had a fair amount of money that helped me while I was at the hospital.

Also I don't say it all the time but I really appreciate my neighbor next door for always filling up my fridge with necessary groceries and always helping me clean the place once in a while. Over the years, I've sort of adapted to my wheelchair and she also taught me how to cook easy meals and has been one of my greatest support. She is one of the few people that doesn't look at me like I am some sort of disoriented being who has no purpose in life. Everyone else has that same look I hated. The look of pity.

I was once again snapped out from my thoughts when my phone began ringing. I picked it up from my lap to see the caller ID. "speak of the devil"
I answered. "Auntie Haeyoung. I was just thinking about you. Did you need something?"

She replied back with her cheery voice "I should be asking you that. Are you doing okay sweetheart?"

"Of course I am" I said in a monotone voice.
I heard her sigh from the other end of the line.

" Alright dear. If you need anything please call me. Anytime. You know auntie is always here for you hmm?"
"mhmm. I know. You take care of yourself too. You keep forgetting to take care of yourself while taking care of me. You know how much that upsets me." I said in a sad voice.

" Oh I will dear, now I've got to go. call me if you need anything."

I shook my head and smiled briefly as I disconnected the call.

Even if I pretended to be okay I knew exactly why she kept calling me the last few days. I closed my eyes to push back the now forming tears as I remembered what tomorrow was. It was the worst day of my life. The day, everything was taken away from me. The day of the accident and the death anniversary of my parents.

I opened my eyes taking in deep breaths calming my self down and counting backwards from 100, just how my therapist taught me. "Its gonna be okay. Its going to be fine. You're gonna meet mom and dad Leah. Its going to be alright. Be strong be strong" I kept repeating that to myself over and over again until I fell asleep on the sofa.

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The next morning I woke up and put on my formal attire and felt the pain in my chest getting deeper and deeper until it was the time for me to head out. I took my keys and took a deep breath trying to calm myself as I went out of my apartment with a heavy heart. I moved slowly towards the flower shop right in front of our building. As soon as I entered, the owner (Jinyoungssi) greeted me.

"Morning Leah."

I nodded weakly at him because I already knew that my flowers would be ready because practically everyone around always remembered today. I moved around and grabbed the freshly made lily bouquet on the counter also fumbling around my pocket for the money.

"Oh Leah, that one is not yours." Mr Jinyoung came back from the store room with another lily bouquet.

I was confused because it was the same arrangement  I always ordered but didn't bother to say anything. I had no energy to converse today at all. I took the flowers and was about to pay when he refused to let me pay. "You know I won't accept that." he smiled at me with pity. "Be strong"

I rode around the the block trying to prepare my mind for the moment. After about 30 minutes I decided to go in to the cemetery.