What happened when...

Not the first time

It's happening, again, and it's not the first time. The curse, the spell, or whatever it is, is broken now, and Henry saved the day, thanks to Regina's courage, and now, things are back to normal.

Are they ?

That's a serious question that Snow White asks to herself, because she is not really sure of the answer.

Because yes, she remembers. But not only the good things. Not the one she should know.

She remembers who she truly is, that she is not that, this terrible Evil Queen who hurts people. That she doesn't rip out hearts, doesn't kill people, but loves Charming, and that she never intended to hurt him, in any way.

But, whereas she knows it, she also remembers what happened in the Enchanted Forest. This sort of world. The evil and twisted world.

The murders. The killings.

The way she treated her daughter, and it hurts her, even though it wasn't her fault. And she admires Emma's courage for being so determined to save them, and she loves her daughter even more than before.

But, in a way, that's not the worse, because everyone is alive, and her and Charming didn't really kill Hook or Ruby.

It never was, and never will.

And, of course, there was something else.

What she remembered would haunt her for a time. What she had with Ruby came to her mind, and yes, it was very disturbing.

Strangely, more than killing her.

She had a kind of relationship with Ruby. Without any love or tenderness, but just sex and passion.

Yep, she did sleep with her best friend as she was the Evil Queen.

And the worst of it is when she sees Ruby again, as they understand each other, just by seeing the other, they both know one thing.

Terrible and awful thing.

They didn't hate it.

In fact, they even adored it.

And that was the problem.

Snow remembered everything, the kissing, their "relationship", them being together, sleeping together, and her also torturing Ruby (a little, before the strangers came), and killing her. These two last one were her worse memories.

They looked at each other, embarrassed, because that was not how they really felt.

Because it hadn't been them, not their true self, but a broken and wicked version of Snow, the same for Ruby.

Except that it did happen, and that a version of them had want this to happen.

So they were very confused, not knowing how to react.

But Snow knew something.

They wouldn't talk about it, because it was over, and she felt happy that Charming knew nothing about it.

And she felt also relief by the fact no one of the two of them would ever evoke it.

She didn't regret that.

It wasn't the first time she remembered after a curse was broken.

But it was the first time that she wanted to forget.

§§§§

All of this had been terrible.

That was Killian's first thought as he woke up. And sort of... resurrected from death. In a way.