Our Second Life

Videos Upon Videos: Part Two

I've been crying all morning.. I've slept the day away. I'm empty. ha not like they would notice.

Question of the week(If anyone even answers it): Have you self-harmed? Know someone who does or did?

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I've spent the night with Nash and Cameron messing around the house. After a while I fell asleep some how and I woke up to a vine with me exclaiming, and I quote, "SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!!" and the next clip showed me sleeping. After meeting the viner guys, I really didn't find it necessary to make a vine until this morning when I found out that I already had a vine that the guys made. 

An hour after I woke up, Cameron thought it would be awesome if we made a video before they left. I rolled my eyes at the idea but gave in. Filming the video alone was about two hours long, making the time be already one in the afternoon. 

I walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator for something to eat. My phone started to ring on the counter top while I yawned and reached in to grab a tube of yogurt. I walked up to the counter, opening the tube and biting the top while seeing who was calling. Carter ♡. 

"Uh.. Hi," was the first thing Carter said as I picked up the call. 

I crossed my arms and leaned against the counter then said, "Hey, how've you been?" 

"I've been better, so you and Sam have nothing?" he asked me. 

"Are you jealous?" I asked him with my own question.

"Of course, you're my girlfriend and Sam gets to see you whenever he's over," he replied.

"Are we really back to the Sam situation?" 

It took him a moment to reply. His reply was, "No, I just wanted to say I love you." I couldn't help myself from grinning like a idiot as I threw my finished yogurt away. 

"Hey, I love you too," I said. 

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I scratched the back of my head, chuckling nervously. I was sitting in front of my camera that was recording. "So hi, lexians. As you can see from the title, that this about ... bullying."

I looked at Cream who was silently sleeping by my feet. She looks so peaceful and all grown. She had her stuffed bunny cuddled up to her. I looked back at the camera and smiled.

"Earlier, I was on twitter and I saw that an innocent girl committed suicide. She was bullied." I had a pained expression on my face as I said bullied. "I know you guys don't know a lot of me right now since I hid myself for as long as I was on YouTube, but when I was in middle school I was also bullied." I felt like I was about to cry as I felt my eyes brim up with tears. I cleared my throat, closing my eyes. I removed the images from my head. "I thought about committing loads of times.. but I remembered that it's not the end." I covered my mouth with my sleeve to cover the sad smile that appeared on my face.

"I never really had any friends because everyone thought I was weird and antisocial. Which is true, I was weird; still am. I cried everyday, coming home." I sniffed, running my hands over my face to wipe quiet tears that escaped. "This looks pathetic."

I chuckled and grabbed a stray water bottle from on top of my night stand, drinking some up. "I now realize that I do have friends. I consider you guys my friends and family instead just fans. You've been with me through thick and thin, making me who I am today. I just want you to know, even though I may go through a hard time in my life, I want you to come to me and talk to me instead of killing yourself."

My phone started to buzz from my night stand. I picked it up to see Matt's face making a face back at me. I answered his face time. "Hi, Lexibear! Wait, why are you crying?" 

"I'm making a video," I replied, wiping my eyes. I explained it to him and he nodded in understanding. I'll edit this part out later. "Would you like to say something?"

"Yeah, sure."

I turned to face the camera and said, "So guys, Matt Espinosa wants to say a few words to you guys." I pulled up my phone and faced the screen so that Matt was looking at the camera. 

"Hi guys, I just wanted to say that we both love you guys dearly and that we're here for you even though sometimes it doesn't seem like it. You're all beautiful just the way you are and I hope you realize that. I love you guys!" Matt said. He blew a kiss to the camera and I pulled the phone back. 

"I think that it's time to end this video.." I looked down to see Matt sticking his tongue out at me. I rolled my eyes at him. "I want you all to know, you are all my friends and I love you all. I want you to be happy with yourselves and love yourselves as well." I blew a kiss to the camera and turned it off.

"So why were you making a video?" Matt asked after chatting aimlessly for about half an hour. 

I shrugged and said, "I was on twitter earlier."

He was silent for a moment, thinking about what he saw on twitter. "Oh, the girl that committed suicide?" he asked. I nodded. "It's not your fault."

I nodded and shrugged again. "I know it's not. I just wished I could've done something about it."

"I couldn't agree more," he replied.

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Okay, part two done! Sorry if it's too short for your taste, but it is part two of the other chapter so. And! Upload one for the week:D haha hope you enjoy! The video on the side is a project I participated in, I hope you watch it and enjoy too(: 

xx

Unedited