Just more Saturday's oxygen being wasted in my capricious existence.
That is how I personally see my everyday life, someone could tell me: "Well, kill yourself then", and the most honest response would be: "I would do it, but I find pain to be a nuisance, so until the day in which euthanasia is legal here in the UK, if I don't die before that, I am going to continue living my life in the only way that I know". Because to be frank, I don't care whether I am alive or dead, but since to be dead would mean to suffer in a certain way, and I don't yearn to do so, I can say I am "ok" being alive, for the time being at least. If in a certain moment I get bored of this then... I don't really know what I would do. But well, that is something that I would see how to deal with in that moment. I mean, it is not like I despise life or something like that.
I think most people kind of misunderstand my way of seeing things. It is not like I find bad all the things that I don't agree with. I mean, I don't agree with those ideals, but that doesn't mean that I hate them or that I find them bad or that I think my ideals are the good way of living, it just means that I wouldn't act in that specific way because of certain reasons that I find are reasonable. I mean, I don't really think any reality could have characteristics to be categorized as bad or good. But well, that's just how I think, if they want to state that I hate their realities, then what can I tell them? Having said that, lately, I have realized that this world seems to be full of judgements towards certain behaviours, certain? No, towards all behaviours, either putting them under the wing of righteousness or the wing of badness.
Such ideals are the culprits of all the things that the people who follow those same ideals call problems, such as poverty, division, injustice, war, assassination, corruption, etc. finally, I don't really understand those persons, that is the majority of people in the world, I mean, it seems they would make an outcry and almost a revolution over all those so-called problems, when in the end, they were who accepted such reality and the ones who apply and impose that reality onto others... Well, who cares? That's just how I see this topic, it's not like I care that much about it... in the end, for me, the coherence in ideals is just something conventional that doesn't seem to be applied in all person's speech, even though they claim to apply it. I mean, I could analyse this much more deeply by just applying my own way of understanding and just thinking a little bit more about it, for example, the word "coherence". Like I already said, all the realities for me are the same and if for you the word "coherence" means "an animal who likes to have lunch three times a day" then, what can I tell you? That you are wrong? Or that that's not what the convention says? I mean, what convention? There could be billions of conventions regarding one single word, couldn't it? Well, I don't go want to go into more depth about this. Ugh, to think this much about something that won't change and that doesn't have to change makes me feel that I am wasting a lot of energy and time and even then, I cannot help but to think about it... it is just what I do, I think I could even say that it's my very gladly accepted cup of tea.
Now. I should get my breakfast ready since I decided to get up.
(Looking for food inside the fridge)
Mhhh, like I have expected, there is no food whatsoever, I will have to go to buy something at the supermarket that is at the corner with the little money I have to spare this month... since I didn't go to my uncle's house yesterday, I wasn't able to receive my allowance. Mhhh, such an unfortunate situation to be in.
I find it unfortunate because even though I don't follow almost all the conventions that society imposes, my life depends on one of them, it is not like my aim in life is to survive, I just don't want to feel a void in my stomach, for me, living with a void feeling inside my stomach is very unpleasant and I'd rather be dead. Anyway, I find very sad that I depend on a convention such as money to live as I want, it almost makes me want to cry, mhhh, to cry?
YOU ARE READING
Donc comme vous (So like you) Volume I: "Something with no wings was born"
Mystery / ThrillerThis story is about a boy named Osric, who is about to get into the new world of a university student, he is a very unusual person since he doesn't follow most of the rules that the society try to impose and has a very clear and defined philosophy...
