Where's Daddy?

Continuing

I gathered myself together, and so did Nixon. Ben sat back in his chair and rubbed his face. "Well, Ben. I think we should go now."

"Alright. Well, if you guys need anything, you know I'm here."

"Alright. See you later." I reached over his desk and he stood back up. I gave him a hug and he squeezed me. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you, too." I backed away and headed for the door. I heard Nixon slap Ben's hand and shake it. I turned around to watch them. "Thank you for being so patient with me."

"No problem! I deal with issues worse than this." Ben smiled to Nixon. Nixon pulled closer to Ben, still shaking hands. "And thanks for taking care of her. You have no idea how much this means to me." Nixon whispered in Ben's ear. I slightly smiled, but wiped it off my face, as I didn't want them thinking I was eavesdropping. Ben nodded his head and smiled. "All in the life of an attorney!" He chuckled. Nixon smiled and started to walk towards me. I crossed my arms and smiled. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head. He opened the door and lead me out.

I put Dalilah in her carseat in the back seat and opened the driver's side door. Nixon was sitting there and looked up at me. "Butt." I growled at him jokingly. He smiled and got out. I looked at him confused. "Oh no! You can drive! I was just confused."

"No it's okay." He grabbed my hand and ran to the other side of the car. He opened the passenger's side door and acted like Vanna White. "Here you go." He replied, smiling. I smirked at him and climbed in.

"Mommy?" Dalilah finally talked.

"Yes, Dalilah?"

"Who is he?" She answered pointing to the back of Nixon's head. I looked at him and thought. If I told her he was Daddy what would she think? Would she be mad? Happy? Sad? Or should I lie and say he's not? I looked at his cheekbones. His face was so structured. Slim nose. Defined cheeks. I wiped the hair out of his eyes and behind his ear. I'm thinking he never got his hair cut for these four years, because it was so long. He looked over at me and smiled. Even if he was gone all this time, he must have brushed his teeth. I was always yelling at him for not brushing. "Well?" He asked looking at me.

"Um. Sweetheart. This is Mommy's friend, Nixon." Dalilah smiled and squeezed her Teddy, but Nixon was far from happy. He opened his mouth to talk but I interupted him. "We can talk about this later." He closed his mouth and continued driving.

For the rest of the car ride it was an awkward silence. I just stared out the window and thought. Deeply. Where are we going to live? How can we afford food? Dalilah and I already skipped lunch, dinner, and breakfast. the last time we ate was at Dad's. We can't live in the car forever. I already can't afford gas. I couldn't go back to Dad's. And it's not like Nixon had money. He tried to rob me! We all needed showers. Dalilah needed clothes, along with Nixon and me. Our hair was matted. I couldn't pay for my phone bill. I'm lucky I even have a phone! I was deep in thought when I heard the high pitch moan. "Mommy."

"Yes, Dalilah?"

"I'm hungry."

"I know, Honey. Mommy's hungry too."

"I tought Grampa was gonna make me breakfast?" I chuckled slightly.

"I don't think Grandpa will make you breakfast. Besides, it's time for lunch." I looked in the rearview mirror to see her bottom lip tremble. My heart sank thinking about how my child was starving. When I saw a tear drop form her eye, i couldn't help but start crying too. I looked out the window to hide my face from her. How could she be strong, when Mommy was just as sad? Or even sadder? I wouldn't let her see me like that. I wiped my eyes dry and took a deep breath in. Nixon grabbed my hand and rubbed it with his thumb. "Don't worry." He whispered. I blinked slowly, trying to keep the tears out of my face.

"How?" I whispered.

"Just don't. Worrying won't help. It's like a rocking chair. You go back and forth, but go nowhere. It's useless." I looked away and wiped my eyes again. How could he be so calm? "I don't think that helps me."

"Well, just calm down. We'll be alright."

"No we won't Nixon! You haven't lived my life!" I was trying to keep from yelling, but my voice kept getting louder.

"Ashlyn. Just stay calm and believe. Think of your dream life." I closed my eyes and thought of my dream life. Living in the country. Not this wretched city. With a huge house. Not in a car. With three, healthy kids. Not a starving baby. A loving husband. Not a "dead" boyfriend. An Escalade. Not a 1998, beat up Kia. With beautiful weather everyday! Not awful rain, snow, sleet, hail, thunder, lightning. And the perfect body. Not an underweight, anorexic, bony body. Not that I am anorexic, but I certainly look like it! "Nixon, this is making me more depressed."

"Don't compare them! Just dream."

"Nixon! How can I dream when my life now sucks!"

"Ashlyn! You need to calm down!"

"No! I'm sick of this! I will never achieve that life! Im stuck here, in a car, no food, a starving kid, a wavering boyfriend, no job! How could this get any worse!"

Then I lost consciousness. I woke up-who's know how long it had been-in a hostpital.