i hope you're doing good./no i don't, i hope you're hurting
i hope you're happy and feel loved and cared for. / no i don't, i hope you're never loved again like i loved you or anyone else loved you because you don't deserve it.
i hope i mean something to you or that you still care or maybe even love me./ i only want this so you can see me happy and so you hurt like you hurt me.
it hurts a lot too. hurts seeing your face, seeing you happier without me, maybe even loving someone else. / it only hurts because i want attention like you almost gave me. but other than that i don't hurt anymore.
i'll never forgive myself for not trying harder. for not putting as much effort as i should have./ i lied again. can you tell?
i'm faking being happy to prove i can do it but i'm hurting more than i could ever imagine./ i'm not. i'm happy and better of without you.
you probably won't care or think anything about me but i've never loved anyone as much as i do (did? this is weird to put it like this) you. /still true. but not anymore. not at all.
my heart can't handle much more. i feel like life just hit my vase full of flowers & now all the water & petals are sad and dying. bad analogy but whatever i'm not the best poet. /my heart can handle a lot. you can't hurt me any longer.
do you think of me?/hope you do so when you see me you finally hurt.
do you wonder if i'm still loving or thinking of you?/ i'm not still loving you but i am thinking of you sometimes. about what not to look for in a girl or in anyone. a what not to do in relationships.
are you hurting at all?/apparently not. but one day i hope it ALL comes and hits you like a bus.
i have so many questions that'll never be answered but i don't even know if i deserve an answer anymore./i do deserve an answer because i'm the one who hurt.
i don't know if i did something wrong, more than likely did but no matter what i'm always gonna care and love you. even if it's just a little bit of my heart. you're still gonna own a piece./i didn't apparently. and you don't anymore. you don't own any of me. i still haven't loved you in so long.
i'm sorry./i'm not. i have NOTHING to be sorry for.
a/n- the left is the first reaction i had to a breakup and the right is the last reaction. it's been a while pals and i missed writing so much!! love you all!!!
