Capital Punishment- A Collection Of Poems

Vinegar Boi

I'm bitter
Like the vinegar you drink.
It's funny
How you're so funny
With you jokes and you weird habits
And how I laugh every time
Even when you aren't so funny, Vinegar Boi
Vinegar Boi
That's what you're in my contacts as
Your real name is average
Ordinary
But you aren't.
So you go into my mind with a nom de plume
And a cute selfie you took on Snapchat
Because you're cute, Vinegar Boi
I think you are
Even when your jokes are mean
Even when you don't text me back
Even when you say you'll call me at noon
And you don't
You don't even pick up your phone when I call you
Fuck you, Vinegar Boi
I text you this
"fuck you"
But it's a joke
Everything's a joke with you
I'm laughing
I'm laughing so hard
I can't breathe
And tears are streaming down my face
And my heart hurts
It hurts, Vinegar Boi
When you're so much cooler than me
That you're too busy smoking maple weed
To have the time to fucking text me
Even though you said you would
And I can't even say your real name, anymore
Because it's too serious
And I'm too needy
And you're too cool
For me
And you live in Maine, goddammit
And long distance is "too much" for you
So I'm here
And you're there
With boys closer than me
And girls flirting with you on Facebook
'Cause you're so fucking out of my league, Vinegar Boi
And I wish I didn't like you as much as I do
And you're so far away from me I keep forgetting that there isn't a time difference
Because you never reply to my cries for help
You never fucking care
I hate this, Vinegar Boi
I hate this
I hate myself
And I hate you
For being too cool for me
And I'm bitter
Like the vinegar you drink.