I need you - (JAMIE CAMPBELL BOWER FANFIC) SHINORHINO

Chapter 6 - Confusing

Chapter Six - Confusing

I absentmindedly walked around my new apartment, thinking and looking at the rooms, which were fully furnished from the belongings I had brought from my suitcases.

I couldn't sit down, I could only pace around the apartment and fiddle my hands as I thought about that jerk that messed up my feelings.

Jamie Campbell Bower, my feelings and thoughts are screwed up thanks to you.

I can't think straight. I want to be with him, but at the same time I was to act like I don't know him. I want to kiss him, but I want to punch him in the face. I want to cuddle with him at night, but I want to kick him in the balls if he dares to look at me.

I don't know whether I'm happy because he's out of my life, or sad because of the same reason. I want to cry, but I'm so angry I could slam him into a brick wall. I feel like I'm in love, but I'm too confused to choose an emotion and go with it.

Maybe I should give up on boys? Maybe I should become a recluse?

Maybe I should move to another country?

Maybe I should ask him out?

Maybe I should punch him?

Maybe I should fall in love with him?

Maybe I should cry in his arms?

I don't know.

I just don't know anymore.

I sat down on the couch and put my head in my hands.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. Pulling the slick iPhone out of my back pocket, I opened a message from Jamie.

'Wanna get lunch babe?'

I sighed, and threw my iPhone beside me on the couch, dramatically leaning against the back of the couch.

I could go, it'd make no harm half of me said in my mind.

Or you don't go, because it could make heaps of harm the other half of me said.

I'll go and by the time I get back, I have to make a decision whether we're just friends, more than friends or he's nothing in my life.

That's a good idea.

I unlocked my iPhone -not forgetting to smile at my lock screen of me and Lily at the park hugging a tree-, opened the text message and started making a simple reply.

'When and where?'

Moments later I had gotten a reply from Jamie.

'Now and the little coffee shop on Portland Avenue'

(A/N: I must be the worst author I'm writing a book based in London and I barely know what London look like. Sorry about the streets, I'll make up names for them x)

I sighed and replied

'Okay, see you soon'

I put on my white converse high tops, and looked at myself in the mirror, I was wearing a blue long sleeve shirt with a black high waisted skirt, black stockings and my cream coat. My blonde hair hung freely from my head, the only styling done was that my hair has some curls today. I had a little bit of makeup on, only eye liner and mascara.

I grabbed a brown scarf and wrapped it around my neck, grabbing my phone and some money and stuffing it in my coat pocket.

I opened the door, locked it and then ran down the stairs, opened the block door, then closed it.