no savior.

no quitting

KJ's POV

I exit the laundry room and head upstairs to the Sinclair's apartment. I pause at the top of the steps, feeling like a teenager going to meet the parents. I remind myself that Layne is grown and ultimately can do what she wants. But still, I want to talk to Dil. If I was going to start over and do better, it was going to have to start with him.

I check my reflection in my phone camera, making sure I don't look like I just spent the last ten minutes sucking face with his sister.

Once I come to the conclusion that I do look like exactly that, I accept it and approach the door. I'd long ago forfeited my key to the place, so I knock. After a couple minutes the door cracks open, Dil's familiar face peeking through, "What?"

"Can I come in?"

"No," he goes to shut the door, but I wedge my boot toe in, keeping it open. "Dillion."

He opens the door and I enter. I'm shocked at how little the apartment seems to have changed, but in awe of what hasn't. Dil gestures for me to have a seat at the kitchen table, and I oblige.

"You've got a lot of nerve," he states, venom in his tone, "So what? You've come to rub it in my face that you're fucking my sister after I specifically told you to stay away from her?"

"No," I don't take the bait, "I'm here because I'm sorry. And I'm here because I'm in love with your sister. And if that's gonna go anywhere we need to get on the same page."

"Is it going anywhere? Cause last I checked you two prefer to run in circles." he smirks, subtly reminding me of Layne and I's dark and twisted past. You aren't eighteen anymore. He can't chase you off. I snap out of it, taking the low blow in stride.

"I've put Layne through a lot, yes," I pause, "But yes. It's going somewhere."

He nods, then shakes his head, "I was afraid this day would come."

"What?" I ask. Is he crying? I was expecting anger. I was expecting attitude. Tears, though?

"I was afraid the day would come when I'd have to forgive you," he elaborates, "I know that you were a kid when everything went down, but I blamed you anyway. I've spent so much time trying to blame you. Trying to keep you two apart. Trying to make sure she never saw you again. But when Dru rented the house to you and his brother, I knew that I'd have to come clean. It was only a matter of time before everything started coming back to her."

I don't follow. "What are you talking about?"

"I'd have to come clean about the fact that I've never forgiven myself," he can no longer seem to hold back and begins to cry, a full cry consuming his whole body. I watch him fall apart, for a minute before the psychologist in me kicks in. I stand and wrap my arms around him, my mind taken back to when we were something akin to friends.

"Dil, you know its not your fault," I console him, "It's okay."

"I fucked up," he sobs, "I wasn't there for her. I saw the signs and I didn't do anything. I just watched her spiral downward!"

"Hey! I was there too," I remind him, "I was there the entire time and I didn't do shit either but make things worse. But that's because there was nothing we could do, alright? Nothing. It's not your fault. Ssshh. It's not."

I let him cry it out, and when he pulls it together he stand and washes his face at the sink. He turns back to me, and we lock eyes, just staring at each other. When I first saw him, I was struck by his handsomeness. Then I was pulled in by his friendship. I fell out with Layne and I saw a villain in him. Now I see a cousin turned brother turned father, who wanted the best for her. I see a man that couldn't handle everything, and is just now coming to that conclusion.