Subordinance

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

I wake with a pounding in my ears that roars with the ferocity of the blood coursing through my veins. Consciousness bobs at the surface of the sea of darkness I swim in, stroke after trudging stroke bringing me ever closer. I drag in ragged breaths from the waves of ink around me, my phantom limbs aching as if I swim through lead. The darkness presses in from all sides, rendering me near immobile save the arduous strokes I take in the hope of rising to consciousness. The sea is so cold, so quiet, dormant with the life that rests at the edges of the void and waits to be awoken. The roaring in my ears is both barely audible and deafening at the same time, the thrashing of my arms and legs making no noise whatsoever. The one sound impossible to ignore is the galloping of my straining heart, pushed to the limits in an effort to keep me going in the impossible task of swimming. I know once I break the surface I will wake fully, but the waves tug at my legs, dragging me down under the blackness. I kick, flailing to be free.

And then I startle, the shadow of a figure materializing in the darkness of the sea not too far from me. The tangled braid that floats around the figure's head makes it all too clear their identity, despite the marble pallor of their skin and the lifeless set to their form. Rho's body twists in the motionless sea, her head facing towards me with a chilling expression, her eyes dead, all the umber light drained and dulled.

It's not real, I tell myself.

Just keep swimming.

Efforts renewed, I thrash again, kicking and straining towards the surface with muscles screaming in protest. I don't look back, only up. I know what is behind me. The surface bobs not too far ahead, my only thoughts on reaching the surface.

That is precisely why I nearly scream when another figure appears, floating above me with arms splayed and lifeless. The light glimmering over the surface of the water casts their face in gaunt shadow, pallor ghostly and eyes closed. A wave ripples, disturbing the fabric of the waves and opening the eyes of the figure. I bite back a screech and shrink into myself, the bloodcurdling expression of death having stolen the light from the emerald eyes I know so well. The winking, glittering light from my memory fractures, shattering the disguise and revealing his death in all of its horror. My heart stops and the frigid sea of ink around me freezes, choking the breath out of me.

It’s not real.

I lunge with superhuman effort, grasping at the surface and coming up empty.

I must keep swimming.

I must wake up.

My heart pounding wildly, I scramble towards the surface with flailing limbs. Just a few more strokes, I tell myself, just a couple more and I'm done. With a frantic pulse and labored breaths, I swim upwards, my ears popping with the pressure. I kick out at the water, my violent strokes warranting no more than a subtle disturbance in the sea. Screwing my eyes shut in a concentration of effort, I reach with desperate arms at the surface that eludes me. I feel the sunlight penetrating the waves with a warmth unwelcome in the darkness of the sea. Opening my eyes, I scream open-mouthed, choking and coughing with the blackness that pours into my mouth. Hungry, malicious eyes stare down at me from a figure floating on the surface, the body dead but the eyes alive in an awful twist of fate. Their jade-hued centers glint with reflected light that spears me down to my soul, the darkness freezing my insides with such cold that I barely feel it. I gasp and splutter, grasping with phantom limbs and thrashing out with all I've got. Those horrible eyes follow me and mock my pathetic efforts, willing the darkness to rise and pull me back down once again. They watch with a malignant and assessing light that challenges me to defy the stare. I shoot my hand upwards, breaking the surface and tugging myself through.