"Do You Want To Die?"

2. "Do You Want to Live Again?"

“Do you want to live again?”

***

Darkness. Chilling darkness coated in an unmelting layer of ice. Even when my hands rest on the ice covering the ground they do not get cold and the ice is untouched, looking as it did before I placed my hand on it. When I take a step forward light begins to fill the empty abyss until finally an entire ice land is unveiled before my eyes. Thousands of trees sparkling with icicles adorn a long snow covered path. My dying wish to see snow fall one last time has been granted by whatever force brought me here.

I look down and I am in nothing but a long silk nightgown. I have bare feet and my raven hair is gently brushing against my back. I focus my eyes on the path resting in front of me. Untouched by all and unseen by the living. My feet tickle the ground as I walk along the path gliding my right hand along the trees. Death is much more peaceful than the stories I’ve heard. As I make my way to the end of the path snow begins to dance around me and engulf my body.

Instead of icy pain I feel intense warmth and comfort as if being hugged a mother. The snow gently lifts me off my feet and caresses me sweetly like a lover would. I smile under its touch. When it releases me I am dressed in a long white gown craft fully decorated with silver swirls imitated the wind and snowing playing together. My hair is woven into a tight bun and with an ice crown center piece. At the base of the path there is a large white glowing tree. I walk over to the tree, still bare foot, and stop a yard away from it.

It was all too beautiful to be real, but at the same time too beautiful to be something I was dreaming up all on my own. Was I truly dead? I wasn’t saddened by the though, only by the thought that my sister was all alone now. I was not afraid of what was going to happened to me, only to Siren who was still too young to live on her own. Would she be safe? Would someone from the town let her live with them? I found myself no longer entranced by the beauty of this world and as my mind turned to other thoughts the tree in front of be began to look sullen and contorted into a twisted dark thing out of the imagination of Poe or straight out of Sleepy Hollow.

I slowly took a step back, but my foot became entangled in vines that just grew from the tree. I looked around and the lovely world I saw was melting and becoming dark. Then from behind the tree I heard a voice. The same voice I heard as I took my last breath.

“Do you want to die?” I looked at the tree. Where was this voice coming from and to whom did it belong? I looked around unsure how to answer the question. Then again, “Do you want to die?” I fixed the skirt of the dress and steady my feet that were tangled tightly. I thought for a moment then answered, with a voice I hoped sounded confident.

“No!” I shook my head. “And yes…” I surprised myself with that last part.

“Do you have something worth living for?” The voice was melancholy and steady.

“Yes, my younger sister Siren. She needs me as much as I need her, but…” My voice tailed off again. What was I doing? Talking to the shadows, or maybe a tree. Then a thought hit me. What if I was talking to Death? Just as I opened my mouth to ask who I was speaking to he spoke again.

“Do you want to live again?” I stopped. My dead heart picked up a beat.

“Can I live again?” Instead of answering me he repeated the question. I sighed and thought. Living ad I did before was painful. I hated myself for being so weak. I couldn’t even care for my own sister anymore and that was my only job in life. What good would I do if I lived again?

“I do,” I took a breath to finish. “But, not the way I used to. I was sick and dying…well I died…” Looking around at the world I finally wondered where I was. “I wouldn’t want to live again if I was forced to live a life where I was as sick I was before coming here. Where ever here is.” I fixed the skirt again, now out of inpatients and embarrassment.