They were sitting on the roof, dangling their legs off the side. The day was cold and the street below them was immersed in fog, making it look like their legs were dangling into nothing, like they were sitting on the edge of the earth. The thought was thrilling to both of them. A cigarette passed between them, the smoke rising out of their mouths and deteriorating quickly in the cold air. They had come up to the roof on an order from Lily, who had woken up more or less sober. They were both quiet for a while, until she spoke.
"I'm sorry"
Harry looked at her and passed her the cigarette, and they were quiet for a few minutes again.
"I'm sorry too"
This time, Mara looked at him, the surprise evident in her eyes.
"Why? It's not your fault that I'm scared of commitment."
"I shouldn't have pushed you so hard. We'd only been dating a few months, and I'm sorry I was so pushy about it"
They fell silent again, both not wanting to talk about it. The silence only interrupted by the occasional blowing out of smoke and shivers passed between them.
Mara sighed and said, "Do you really want to talk about everything? Don't you just want to forget about it and start over?"
"But without talking about it, how can we stop ourselves from making the same mistakes?"
"Alright. Fine." Mara sighed and pulled her leg up under her, leaving the other one dangling.
She turned to face him and said, "What do you wanna talk about?"
Harry's lips curved up slightly, and, taking a drag from the cigarette, turned to face her.
"You're right. I don't want to talk about it. I'm just glad to be here with you, together, like we used to be."
"God I've missed you and your corny shit"
Harry laughed, and the sound was the most amazing thing in the world to Mara.
"I've missed you too. So much. I'd do anything to have you back. To have us back."
She was quiet for a while.
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that these last few weeks have been hell for me. I haven't slept properly, I haven't eaten properly, I can't concentrate on my singing. This is the first time in weeks I've felt even moderately alright. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I still love you."
And then Mara kissed him. Or he kissed her. Either way, they were kissing and it was perfect and for the first time in a while, Mara felt that she would be okay.
Lily walked around the flat, still half high from the drug. She had woken up an hour ago to Mara and Harry kissing each other on the couch, and had been sober enough to send them out to sort their issues out, after which she had proceeded to throw up and tried to get sober. She walked into Mara's room and lay down on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for everything to stop spinning and for colors to stop exploding out of everything. She turned onto her side and heard the crinkle of a plastic bag. She put her hand underneath her and took out the bag. Inside it, was enough of the white powder to last months.
Months, Lily thought. The idea of more of the powder was too tempting to say no. She shoved the plastic bag down her shirt, got off the bed and walked out of the flat, intent on getting home and getting high as fuck.
wow okay dont hate me im so so sorry about how late this update was i dont have my laptop so i had to use my ipod which is why this chapters so short tbh its kind of a filler but theyre back together yay!!! i'll try to update soon but i have exams coming up so idk
-maya
