Everything To Me ( Major Editing )

will eat me (Unedited)

The feeling of loosing someone who was a living icon for you. Who was a motivation for you. A person who was with you, who you looked upto. You loved dearly, is errible.  It's heart breaking.

At first you act like nothing happened and everything will be fine. Or you are in denial. You want to believe that that never happened. You never heard that news. You never got shattered.

But when reality hits you and hits you hard. The hell breaks loose and the earth crashes down. You now don't know what's going on or what's gonna happen. You fall into a endless memories and especially the last memory. Which acts like a leech and sticks to your mind, never leaving your vision. You keep replaying the last moment you had with that person.

Now, I dont know what's going on.

I don't know what's gonna happen.

I am in a ocean deep into memories with my dad.

And the last one is sticking and replaying in my mind. Un countless times.

I don't know if he is ever gonna come........or I will ever going to make new memories with him. The last picture I had in my head of him was a tear sticking face. Gloomy, devastating, broken man.

And that picture would never go. Never.

I cant feel more guilty than this. It's going to eat me.

Eat me.......

Oh lord.....what do I do.....

6 hours back   

" hello? "

" hello mam? Mam your dad....had an heart attacks and hit his head pretty bad. You need to come here, mam. In london. " she finished.

" how is he n-now....w-wait i am coming. Just hang on, okay" i said breathing hard. I didn't know what to do. So the first thing came to my mind was to call my jet. I needed to leave right now. But then the small noises brought me back from my thoughts. I almost forgot that now I have kids to take care. Oh my god who is going to take care of them.

I ran upstairs calling karan on one hand and rubbing the tears with the other. When he picked on the third ring. I took a big gulp of breath to calm myself.

" hello, krystle "

" ka-karan uh um my dad.....my dad had a heart attack. I have to go. Go to london. Now. Come home. Pl- please " I said frantically and in the end I couldn't control my sobs so broke down. I heard some shuffling on the other side. I moved to our closet.

I again rubbed my pulm on my eyes and took out my passport and purse.

" karan can you hear me " i yelled.

" yes....yes i am outside the house bring kiyan and kayra with you " he said and hung up.

I did what he told. I came outside hurriedly and got inside with the kids in the back.

" momma where are we going " kiyan asked.

" we are going to Grandpa baby " I said and again called my pilot.

" John are you hear yet. Is the jet hear " I said with a raised voice.

" yes mam. I am waiting on sir's private airport" he said.

" okay I will be there in five " I said and looked at karan.

" if you dont mind can I drive, please " I pleaded. He just looked at me and nodded. I asked because he didn't know where that place is and I want this car to drive fast. So I said it. I don't  care right now. My dad is on an another country. God knows what's happening there.

I got in the driver's sit and drove like a jet. And like I said I reached there in five. I opened flung open the door and got out. Going to the back sit I grabbed kiyan and hold him on my hip. Taking my purse i walked upto the jet.

Karan was there looking at me worried while carring kayra. I just looked at and gave a small smile that I can muster.

" Mam nice to see you  " Richard said and basicly I ignored all the greeting. I know its rude but I need to reach there. Before....before it's late. I cant loose him, too.

"Good afternoon mam and sir. To london? " my pilot jogn asked .

" yes, if it's possible to drive this jet fast " I said. He nodded and went into the cockpit.

I sat with kiyan on my hold. Rubbing his back and putting my chin on his head I took some deep breath. But I couldn't calm down. Karan, knowing what's happening to me got up putting sleeping kayra on the couch and kneeled infront of me.

" I know krystle it's hard. But you have to stay strong. Not for you but for your dad okay. And if you continue like this than your gonna have panic attack. And no body wants that. We are gonna go safe sound and your dad is going to be okay. Now I want to you close eyes and try to sleep. You Need that. " he said caressing my cheek and I nodded slowly. Taking kiyan from me he took both of our sleeping babies on his arm and went into a cabin.

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself. Slowly i regain my calmness and started think about whats happening in life. It looks like everything is happening to fast. It's wasn't even 2 weeks ago that dad was enjoying himself back in Hawaii.  And me......i was handling an empire. A arrogant CEO. And now.....now everything is different. I am a mother, a wife. I got to know my dad gave me away. The kapoors are not my real parents. And dad now in the hospital and I know that I can loose him anytime.

Dad had an heart attack when I was with him. It was fortunately not major minor. And the doctors said that the next time he have it again it would major with life risk. I was thee with him last time. I took care of him. It happened infront of me.

Now I am far...far away. Didn't saw him. Couldn't take care of him. And the worst the last memory was of him being broken. That will never leave my mind. I will always be guilty.

He was all I had. My family. My dad. No matter what he did even If it was giving me away I would never blame him. He did all he could to cover all those years in those 3 years. All loved me beyond. Spoiled me.

Now I know. He never called me jeevika, except on those official times. He always called me princess. He knew I was krystle not jeevika.

I wasn't his fault. He loved me.

I can't loose. Not like this. Not like me being away from him.

Suddenly I brought back by an arm going under my knees. I yelped.

" karan what are you doing ?? " i asked while he settled me on his lap. Circling his hand tightly around my waist.

" this is your place to sit while I comfort you " he said shrugging. I said nothing but snuggled close to him putting my head on the croak of his neck.

" I am here for you. You know that right? " he said. I nodded against him not wanting to talk and that sleep consumed me.

Present time

After that I woke up when the plane landed and now I am in the hallway of the hospital where my dad is. Waiting for the doctors. Karan on my side. The kids are with rose.

" Everything would be fine " karan whispered rubbing my arm soothingly.

I can't imagine  myself going through this without him. I would have been devasted.