Laura’s POV:
“Come on, sweetie, you’ll be okay.” Alison tells me as she finishes my makeup.
“Why do I need this?” I ask her. “I’m just going to cry more.”
“And it’s waterproof. Suck it up and look presentable.” She tells me as we drive to the funeral home.
“How are you, sweetie?” His mom asks me.
“I don’t know.” I tell her and start crying again.
“I know.” She tells me and I go sit down.
“We’re here for you.” Jennifer tells me, sitting next to me. Alison and Marcella sit on the other side of me.
“Thank you.” I tell them and more people arrive. My parents walk in and sit behind me.
“You are so strong, honey. It'l get better.” Mom tells me. I grab the tissues and start crying harder.
“Maybe this is too much for you.” Dad suggests.
“No! I have to be here for Jimmy.” I walk up to the casket and look at James, so lifeless.
“Come sit down.” Alison grabs my arm.
“I love you, James, forever.” I start to take my ring off, but I can’t. I take what would have been his wedding ring and place it on his finger before the casket is closed.
“Alright, you’re done. Sit down, cry, grieve, but do not torture yourself.” Marcella grabs my arm and I sit down, sobbing.
“I can’t do it.” I say and they hug me.
“You’ll be okay.” Jennifer grabs my arm, Marcella takes the other arm, and Alison puts her hand on my shoulder. She’s moved to sit behind my parents so she can be closer to me.
“Maybe.” The funeral starts and I’m back to feeling numb. I don’t even know how to cry or feel right now, this is just too much. I’m only 19, this shouldn’t be happening to me.
“Does anyone have any words?” A few people speak, but I am not one of them. Finally, I go up and stare at everyone.
“Hey, everyone. I’m sure many of you know James is great. I had the honor to date him for four years. He promised me we would be together forever and I was looking forward to it. I loved him and I still do. He made my days brighter and I really need him here. He was too young to die, and maybe we were too young to get married, but that didn’t matter. We were in love and it was true. Jimmy, you will always be in my heart.” After the funeral everyone tells me how lovely my speech was.
“Thank you.” I say every time, but it’s the only thing I can say.
“It’ll get better.” I hear a lot. I’m tired of people telling me that and people apologizing. I want to grieve and miss my dead fiancé.
“Hey, Ali, I’m going home.” I tell her.
“Do you want me to drive you?” I ask her.
“No, please. I just want to be alone for a while.”
“Okay, see you at home.” She tells me and I fall asleep when I get to my room.
