Somewhere In the Heavens

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Nadine was in the flower shop down the street, hoping to find something that would brighten up James' hospital room.

Cancer.

When he told her, she felt like her world couldn't crash down any faster. After dealing with the thought of losing her own mother for years, she thought she would be able to handle James' diagnosis. His body was much younger and more capable to handle the treatment than a middle-aged woman's, so Nadine just had to believe that he'd fight through this.

Until they said that the chemotherapy was too harsh for him. His lung problem wasn't helping either. But James still went through with the alternate treatments. He said he wanted to try everything to make him get better, which made Nadine feel torn. She wanted him to get better, but if he was suffering too much, she told herself that it would be for the best if he just went on.

Especially with the recent episode he was in lately, the doctors didn't think the treatment would work too well -- and they were right that they had to put him in a medically induced coma for a week. So for the past week, Nadine and their families were taking turns in the hospital by pairs. It was hers and Lauren's turn to make sure nothing went wrong. The doctors were supposed to try and wake him up tomorrow.

"Ma'am," the store clerk interrupted Nadine's mind from wandering too much. "The only roses we have in today are the white, red, and orange."

She smiled at the clerk and asked for half a dozen of each color and to arrange them nicely. When she got to the counter to pay for the services, Lauren's special ringtone went off and Nadine quickly answered.

"Nadz..."

_______________________________________________________________

Nadine was running through the hospital.

She would've gone straight to his room, but they moved him to the ICU within the time she had left to take a shower and run some errands. Lauren said complications happened and that she needed to rush back immediately.

So there she was, running up the stairs because the elevator would take too long.

She reached the ICU only to be stopped by a nurse. "Ma'am, you're not allowed in here. You have to be signed in by a family member."

"That's my fiance! My fiance's in one of the rooms!" she screamed bloody murder in the hallway.

"Ma'am, we need you to calm down please. The other patients can't be alarmed."

Jack came rushing down the hall to her. "Nadine..."

Nadine looked at him and the room he just came from. Ignoring the nurse, Nadine ran towards the room and put her hand out to the doorknob. With Jack trailing behind her into the room, Nadine saw everyone's tear stained faces and, for the first time, Daddy M holding a sobbing Mommy Ella. Mommy My took a hold of Nadine's hand, but she couldn't feel anything anymore.

The doctor and a med tech were in the room, writing down information on a clipboard while James' body was being covered in a white sheet. The beeping noise that noted his heartbeat was gone and all the machines were turned off. The only noise she could hear now was the ringing in her ears.

Nadine ran towards his body and threw herself to where her head was on his chest. She clutched at the sheets to reveal his still face, only causing her to loudly wail.

"I'm here! James, I'm here!!"

Daddy Dong grabbed Nadine, "Anak..."

"No, I'm here!! I'm here!" she gripped harder onto the hospital gown James was wearing. She cupped James face and started begging. "Stay. Please don't do this. Please don't leave like this. Don't go like this! Don't!... James, I'm here. Please... please... I'm here. Love, I'm here. Love..."

She repeated it in her head like a litany, hoping that he would hear her and that it was enough for him.

"Ate..." Chantal and Mimi came to her side. "The doctors need to take him."

"No!" she screamed and cried. "No... no!"

Everyone in the room was watching Nadine cry over James. The moms wrapped up by the dads, both pairs crying. Lauren was in the corner shaking while Jack and Tom held onto her, tears running down their faces as well. Nadine's brothers tried helping Chantal and Mimi peel their Ate off of James, but she resisted even more.

"No! I'm not leaving! I'm not leaving him!" the only sobbed harder.

Isaiah took his sister and hugged her, only to have her sink down to the floor and smush her wet face into her hands.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here in time, Love! I'm sorry. I should've stayed. I shouldn't have left!"

Eze knelt down to the ground to comfort his sister, as they all watched James get wheeled out the room.

"I'm sorry!" Nadine whispered to herself repeatedly.

She finally leaned on Eze, soaking his shoulder with her tears. She was clutching at her chest, trying her best to breathe and rubbing the ring on her finger.

Lauren eventually joined Nadine on the ground, the both of them holding onto one another in the middle of an empty hospital room.

"I should've been here. I'm sorry," she said in between teary breaths.

Lauren shook her head and just buried it into Nadine's. "It was just time, Nadz... It was just time."

Daddy M and Mommy Ella had to leave the room to talk to the staff about the next steps, bringing Tom, Jack, and Chantal with them out. Lauren stood up and wiped her face, sniffling as she left the room to follow her family.

"'Nak," Mommy My said, kneeling down to Nadine's level. "'Nak, they need us to clear the room."

Nadine was helped up to a standing position by her family and she dragged her feet out the room, but looked back at the white space where James was at less than an hour ago.

She saw something on the ground and went to go pick it up -- his ring that him and Nadine got to match with each other on their first monthsary. Nadine pressed the metal to her lips and closed her eyes.

"I love you," she said quietly, hoping that somewhere in the heavens, James heard her too.

~~~~~~

Meeting you was the reward of my life.

I will come as the rain. I will come as the first snowfall. I will beg the divinity to let me do just that.