heal my wounds

Chapter 4

Kevin and I did a little shopping well not really little. I shopped for a lot of clothes, which I will be using for the following days. And we also bought some groceries and went back to the hotel.

"So what happened to your dad?" I asked.

"He had stage 3 cancer. He actually knew it for a long time but he didn't want anyone to know. He neither went for his surgery nor his therapy." Kevin said.

"Oh so how is he now?" I asked.

"His dead." He said coldly.

"I'm sorry for your loss. What type of cancer did he die from?" I asked.

"He didn't die because of cancer. He died because he was murdered by my uncle." He said. Anger filled his eyes.

"Oh. I'm sorry." I apologized.

"Don't be. Go and sleep. Let's talk about your revenge tomorrow," he said, walking off.

When I knew he was gone. I cried as I remembered my painful past. A past I never want to return to.

I guess he heard I was crying because he went in to the room.

"Why are you crying?" He asked.

"It's nothing." I said wiping my tears away.

"You know you can trust me right? Tell me what's wrong, Olivia?" He said.

"Kevin. Am I that horrible?" I asked.

"How could you say that about yourself Olivia?" He asked puzzled.

"Then tell me why does everyone always leave me. Tell me why does no one love and care about my feelings. Why do people always think that I'm not suffering? No one ever loved me. All the people that promised to stay in my life, left. Why does everyone pretend that they care and then leave me hanging? Why? Tell me. My dad left me. My mother committed suicide. You left me when I needed you most. And my own boyfriend tried to murder me! If I were not a horrible person why would people do this to me? People always leave me out. I am mean and sarcastic so that I can be involved in things. I pretend to be stuff I'm not because no one cares anymore. Everybody is against me. They don't know that I cry myself to sleep and that I wake pretending to be happy? Why does no one notice that? When I need a certain person, they just suddenly leave. I feel that everybody just wants me to be gone. Sometimes I think even if I died, no one will care right? You know sometimes I just want to die right now but before anything else I want my revenge. You know sometimes my own clique doesn't even want me. They all had each other. I swear they only want me because I force myself to fit in to stuff that I don't even fit me. Like no one in this world wants me. Even my relatives don't care about me anymore. The truth is I'm just really tired already." I cried.

"I'm sorry I did that to you. But I promise I'll never leave your side ever again?" He said.

"How can I trust you? Didn't you do that to me before? Didn't you hurt me already? How can I trust you when all the people who said that, never kept their promise and left anyways." I cried even more.

Then he came and hugged me and said," well I will prove myself that I am not like those people."

"Don't waste your breathe saying those words. You will leave one day. Like the rest because everybody knows that I'm not worth it." I said coldly.

He placed his finger on my lips and whispered, " hush. You're worth everything and every piece of diamond in this world. Those people who left you don't know what they have lost. Don't think about it anymore. It's getting late. Just sleep for now and we will settle the rest tomorrow."

As I try to fall asleep, he gently played with my hair and sang a soft song. And soon I was asleep.