Neon Black

2: Closer. Not yet. Soon.

The moment I step out of the hospital I'm hit by the cold air. As I pull my jacket tighter for some warmth I look into the dark. The light patter of rain and distant rumble of thunder a blanket of sound over my ears, a welcome change from the silence of the hospital. As I look out I consider ordering an Uber. I know the train station is only 5 minutes away, and I should save my money, but I'm tired, and I don't want to get wet.

As I go to grab my phone the rain stops. But instead of the expected silence I hear something. Like the faint shuffling of clothes. I feel a shiver across my shoulders, like someone is watching me. I start to turn toward the sound. Suddenly hyper aware of myself, my phone, my bag, how many valuable things I have on me. Then out of the corner of my eye I see someone, coming towards me. I turn to face them, stepping back to give me more distance, adrenalin running up my spine, across my chest and into my heart. Their face is still in the shadow but I can see it's a man, bigger than me.

"What —"

"You got a cigarette?" He says, coming into the light. His face sunken and rough, his eyes wild and shifting. I move myself closer to the entrance.

"No. I don't smoke sorry." I reply, still wary but hopeful the conversation ends there.

"You sure? I could really use one." He says, coming closer.

"Yeah. Really sure." I say back, with more confidence than I feel.

"You know where I can get any then?" He's no longer meeting my eyes but turning his head around, looking from side to side, as if to see if there are any around, as if to make sure we're alone, I think.

"No but I walked past a security guy inside, he'd probably know."

"Huh! Yeah I bet." He says, fidgeting and still looking around. "So what ... you waiting for someone?" he asks.

"Yeah my Uber should be here in a minute." I say, wishing that were true.

"Cool, cool." He says, while we both just stand there. Him probably off his face and me freaking out. "So what's your name?"

"Lucy." I lie. As if I'd give out my real name. It's the name I use when I go out, the name I give to creeps like him.

"Well it's not a good night to be out alone Lucy."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Just a pretty girl like you shouldn't be alone." He says, leaning toward me. "You see my girls pretty too. She's inside. I could go for smokes but I don't like to go too far from her, you know."

The way he said that, I wouldn't be surprised if he put her there. Before I can respond I hear the hospital doors open and see a guy coming toward us. Shaved head, rough look as well, but not as jittery.

"Michael man, they're about to see her." So his name's Michael, and now he has a friend with him.

"Yeah in a minute, I'm chatting with my new friend Lucy." Michael says, putting his arm around me. Smelling of alcohol and sweat and cigarettes. I shrug him off, and step back, looking between the two of them, one too close and the other blocking my path to safety.

"Who is Lucy?" The new guy says, not even looking at me, "Just come on man."

Yes, go with him, I think. Go away from me! I scream as loud as I can in my head.

"Yeah alright." Michael says, walking toward the hospital. The relief is intense, and when I see him pass through the doors back into the building I ease out the breath I didn't

realise I'd been holding. Just as the doors are sliding shut I hear him say,

"Be careful out there. Lucy." And without looking back, he follows his friend and the doors close. A barrier now between me and him.

I shouldn't let guys like him get to me, I should be used to them by now, I think. I am definitely getting an Uber. I grab my phone, but it doesn't turn on.

"Are you kidding me?" I say out loud. I'm so angry at myself. Last time I checked I had at least 20%, but of course I had to take all those photos with Genesis, and all those recordings of him doing not much else but sleeping and gaping his mouth about. And of course I lent my charging bank to Lenore. The one time I actually need it.

Well I'm not standing around here waiting for some drugged up creep to molest me. And I start walking to the train station, the street lights reflecting off the puddles of water, my breath misting into the cold air. I shouldn't have stayed so late, I think as I pick up the pace. But not too fast, I don't want to look scared like an easy target. But not too confident either, I heard they go for the confident ones first, like attacking them is some type of conquest, to prove they aren't beaten down. I can see the light of the station not too far away, just a few blocks at most. There'll be other people there, I'm sure. Going home from work, or heading out for drinks or something. And there's always police around now.

A distant rumble of thunder assures me I'm not walking too fast, just motivated to avoid the rain. But though I try not to I'm thinking of that Michael guy again. And his last words. 'Be careful out there. Lucy.' Probably just trying to freak me out, playing mind games. But it was the way he said Lucy. How he paused just so slightly before it, and it sounded as if he was smiling, like he knew that wasn't my name. I look behind me and see I'm not being followed. And reassure myself I'm fine. I'm not freaking out, this is normal. To think these things when you're walking alone at night. But I'm fine. Like 20 more steps and I'll be at the station, and back in the light. Just 15 more steps and I'll be by those two policemen. Just 12 more steps and —

I let out a shout and jump and almost drop to the ground, covering my ears as a mammoth sound of thunder cracks open the sky and jolts through me. I look at the police and see they were surprised too, but more alert than scared. We look at each other, then one of them laughs.

"That was right on top of us!" He says to his partner while looking at me too. Including me in the conversation. Seeing me. I feel my face turning red and my whole body burning, a mixture of embarrassment and nerves from the scare. But as I walk into the station, out of the rain and into the warmth I'm smiling again. Smiling at how silly I was to be scared, and smiling at the thought of going home.