BIRDS (Niall Horan/ Keep Me Warm Sequel)

Chapter 12. Wouldn't you do the same thing?

When the doorbell rang and I opened the door, I found there the only person I couldn't be expecting. Maddie. Well, Alan was there too but truth be told I didn't noticed until he tried to say something. Maddie didn't look happy at all so I let them in instead of asking her what was going on.

When they came in, Harry was still sitting on the sofa, but he had hidden the folder inside a drawer. It was kind of awkward, I mean, no one moved and no one talked until Alan asked Harry if they could talk in the kitchen. Maddie was still in front of me frowning with her arms crossed over her chest. I knew she was pretty annoyed, and I was scared because I hadn't seen her like that in years. I guess deep down I actually knew why she was there. 

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm pretty fine, thanks"

Oh, that wasn't good at all. I was starting to get nervous.

"Why are you here then?"

"I just want to talk to you"

"Well here I am, what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know, you tell me" she replied while pointing at me.

"Maddie, what is going on? This is leading nowhere, I'm worried about you"

"Oh, but you weren't worried at all when you stole the folder, right?"

Fuck. The folder. How could she know?

"What folder?"

"Niall, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I had a folder full of songs and pictures and it is gone"

"What? I didn't even know that folder existed until twenty seconds ago"

"It is gone since you came to my house and had dinner. You're the only one who can have it so just give it to me please"

I didn't say a word. I sighed and looked down. Maddie moved and began to search on the bookshelves before I could say anything. Suddenly, she opened the drawer where Harry left it and took the folder. She showed it to me and tried to leave.

"Maddie, please, I can explain all of this..."

"No, I don't think you can. You cannot explain why you came to my house one day just to steal a folder from me. How did you even know about its existence?"

"On Nate and Leigh's wedding day I spent the night there, remember?" She nodded "I went to the bathroom and on my way there I saw the room where you have all your instruments and stuff. I went it and saw the folder on the desk. That's it"

"And does that give you the right to look at it, steal it or lie to me?"

"No, but I felt the need to do it. I wanted to know why you kept writing so much about me"

"Because it's my freaking job! You could've just asked"

"I couldn't have and you know it"

"Because what you've done is wrong in so many ways. You could've forgotten about the folder and everything inside it, but no, you had to come back and steal it"

"I couldn't stop thinking about it. Maybe there was a chance you still felt something for me"

"Niall, they are songs! They don't always talk about what's going on in my life nowadays. They're also about the past, about everything I've been through. And even if I still felt something for you, it wouldn't change a thing. I'm engaged! I love Peter!"

"If you love him that much why don't you go and write songs about him?"

"I do, but which singer is going to sing about being engaged? Only the ones who are. This doesn't sell"

"I had the right to see the folder, it is about me!" I almost shouted.

"Niall, you didn't. It's private, it belongs to me"

"I think you're just making a huge deal out of this"

"Am I? Niall, after all these years, after everything we've been through together, after all the mistakes both of us have made, I just can't believe you've done this and now you're trying to justify it. Because of all the things you've done to me that have hurt me, this is with no doubt one of the worst of them"

"Maddie..."

"No Niall, I would've understood it if you had done this when you were 19, but we're 26 now, can't you just grow up? I thought we both had changed, I thought you had finally started to face the consequences of your actions, but I guess I was wrong"

"You're getting mad for this dumb shit? Really?"

"This folder has in it everything I've felt for years, and I was hoping I'd get the chance to talk about it with you someday now that we're finally on good terms again. I didn't want you to see it this way. You've read some intimate stuff, stuff I would've never showed to anyone. I'm not even mad, I'm just disappointed"

I looked her in the eyes and knew she was telling the truth.I knew in that folder were things she was ashamed of, things that made her feel vulnerable and weak. And I knew I didn't want her to feel that way again. I had hurt her so much, and even though she had moved on, her heart wasn't healed yet. And I also knew she was scared I'd tell Peter about the folder. And I knew all of that because those eyes talked too much, those eyes talked way more than she thought. Those eyes made me feel the same way I felt years ago, the showed stuff she'd never tell me with her own words. But at the same time those eyes weren't helping me at all, because I stood there silent, and I guess she assumed I didn't have anything else to say because she left without saying goodbye. And I stood there once again, paralyzed. I didn't have the folder and I didn't have Maddie. They were gone, but those blue eyes were stuck in my mind.

Maddie's POV

I believe everything was too confusing, too fast. I talked too much and I barely let him say a word. But truth is he wasn't being honest with me at all. I guess I caught him off guard, and he didn't even know why he did it himself. But when I looked at him I knew he regretted it. 

While I was waiting for Alan, I almost got out of the car so I could talk to him again, but I didn't because it was obvious it was going to be worthless. He had let me down. Alan jumped in the car and started to drive.

"I guess you've heard everything..." I said.

"Yeah, and I think you were right, but still, you were too hard on him"

"I know, it's just that I've been keeping all that stuff so I could talk to him about it one day. I was waiting for the right moment. And now he's just seen everything"

"To be honest, if I had found my ex's folder full of songs written about me, I would've read them to. Wouldn't you do the same thing?"

I didn't reply, I had no answer to that. Or I guess I did, but I didn't want to admit it. It was too late now, and one way or another, I was still disappointed. I guess I was still that drama queen that I hated. And in that moment I couldn't hate myself any more.