secluded - lashton

chapter 2

Luke's POV

I put in my headphones and began to turn up the volume as loud as possible so I could block out the noise of my bandmates talking about what a wreck I am. Ashton was the one who found Michael bleeding and of course he found it necessary to tell Calum about it. Now all three of them are sitting in the kitchen trying to decide what they're going to do with me, great. They want to either send me to some pysch ward or kick me out of the band and quite honestly both options sound better than this.

I cannot put into words how much I hate this band. Michael and Calum hover over me at all times, trying to figure out what is going on with me. They're never going to figure it out because they don't understand what it's like to get so emotionally hurt that you're terrified to let anyone else in ever again. In all of the time I've known Calum I've never seen him shed a tear except for the one time he thought he lost his precious stuffed animal. Michael is a bit different, I've seen him cry quite a few times but it's usually over something stupid like a sad movie. Neither of them would be able to come close to comprehending this ache I constantly have in my heart.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard knocking at my bedroom door. I groaned while taking my headphones out of my ears and walking over to the source of the knocking. I twisted the door knob and reluctantly opened the door to see a pissed off Calum standing in front of me.

"What do you want, Calum?"

"I want you to tell me what the hell you think you're doing."

"What do you mean? I was just listening to music and trying to drown out your squeaky little voice."

"Cut the crap, I'm serious." What did he want me to say? Was he talking about Michael or Ashton? Or maybe he's talking about my attitude in general.

"Is this about Michael?"

"You're damn right this is about your best friend who you just punched in the face for no apparent reason!" Oh great, here we go.

"He's not my best friend. And there was a fantastic reason."

"And what reason was that? Did he take your phone or something?" Calum seriously needs a reality check because I'm not going to put up with this much longer.

"It's none of your business and if you really care that much you can go ask your homophobic friend."

That made Calum curious enough to leave me alone and go to see Michael who I really hope doesn't say anything. Michael is the only one who knows about my sexuality and I'd like to keep it that way for as long as possible.

Just as I was about to shut the door Ashton came up to me, looking a tad worried. I thought I made it clear I don't want to talk to him any time soon but I guess not. What was he so concerned about anyway? It's not like he even knew me or anything.

"Um... Hi, Luke." He sounded like a terrified puppy who just wanted someone to pet him. I hope he realizes just because he acts like that doesn't mean I'm going to treat him any different from the others.

"What do you want from me?" I said it a little more harshly than I wanted to and Ashton's smile faded quite a bit. Whoops.

"I-I just wanted to know what's going on... I only just got here and the tension in this house is practically unbearable. Did I do something wrong? I know I can be a little annoying at times but I didn't think I was bad enough to cause fights between best friends."

"First of all, we aren't best friends. I just put up with these assholes because they can help get the band more popuar. Second, you're annoying as hell but you aren't the one causing the fights. I am. It's none of your business though so just go back to playing with your action figures or whatever you were doing." Good one, Luke. That should get him to stop bothering me.

"Oh, okay. Sorry." He walked away with his head down. Mission accomplished. I grinned at my work and shut the door, finally by myself for what I hoped would be the rest of the night.

I walked over to my mini fridge and grabbed a 6-pack of beers before plopping down on my bed. I took off my jeans and threw them on the floor, then got under a blanket and pulled out my laptop. I plugged in my headphones and opened a beer, this had become my nightly tradition starting a few months ago.

After about 2 hours I had finished the whole case of beers and watched enough music videos to last me a lifetime which told me it was time for sleep. I wasn't nearly ready for bed though after the shitload of drinks I just had so I decided I should go talk to Michael about what happened earlier because why not?

I practically fell out of bed due to how intoxicated I am and stumbled down the hall until I reached my destination. I knocked on the door quite loudly and waited until a perplexed, black eyed Michael appeared.

"What are you doing here and what could you possibly want from me?" Harsh.

"Welllll okay then, Mr. Grumpy! I just wanted to come and talk to you about earlier today but I suppose you're not up to talk." I began to walk back to my room before Michael stopped me.

"Wait! Come on in, I think it's best we sort this out right now." I grinned and walked happily into his room, sitting down on the bed and making myself comfortable. Michael sat down in a chair across from me and began going on and on about how worried he was for me but I didn't care because he had no idea what was going on. He thought I was having some sort of mental breakdown when I really just needed someone to understand why I was acting this way and to help me through it.

"Luke? Are you paying any attention to what I'm saying? Wait, are you drunk again? Jesus, Luke. You need to stop doing this to yourself or you'll end up an alcoholic at 25. Do you really want that?" Wow, he's a dick.

"Does it really matter to you? I just came here to say I'm sorry for punching you but I'm not sorry at all. You deserved it and I'd be happy to do it again. Good night, asshole."

I stood up and walked out of the room, slamming the door on my way out. I could hear Michael trying to stop me but it was useless since I don't want to talk to him and he certainly can't make me.

I passed out around 4. I would never admit it to anyone but I really needed my best friend right now. He has absolutely no clue what's going on and I can't tell him. I don't know what I'm going to do but this can't go on for much longer or my head is going to explode.

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WOW OKAY I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO UPDATE! i kinda forgot about the story and wattpad in general but then I saw there's a ton of reads on this and decided I better continue! thank you so much for all of the feedback it means a lot :) this chapter is really choppy and i'm sorry but i kinda suck at writing so pls forgive meee okay i promise to update somewhere in the near future! x