Sometimes

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Sometimes

I dont let myself

trust myself

allow myself.


Sometimes, 

when the yelling gets loud

and the accusations start

and the food gets burned

I dont


Sometimes, 

I get involved

drawn in,

excited,

overwhelmed,

and the cost is great.


Sometimes, 

i just want to enjoy.

Enjoy 

the meal

the day

the book

the life.


But i dont.


Sometimes, 

I'll go to bed crying,

begging,

pleading,

silently i do this.


But sometimes,

I do it anyways.

I enjoy

at least,


yesterday i did


but tonight?


Not tonight.


Tomorrow.


Maybe...

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