Ivana- Outnumbered fanfic [INCOMPLETE]

4- Ivana Is Enchanting

Thursday

Jake and his mates were hanging in a music room during lunch. Jake had a guitar on his lap, but they were all just talking really. In truth, they were talking about one thing in particular, they're favourite topic: girls.

"Linda Carter or Ivana Smith?" grinned Joey.

"Definitely Linda," Matt answered without hesitation.

"Seriously? 'Ave you seen Ivana? She's 'ot and I swear 'er legs never end."

"Nah, flat chested much? Linda, however..." Matt smirked.

Joey laughed, "Fair point, but it's still Ivana for me."

"Fair enough. Have fun trying to find second base, though."

They both fell about. Once they'd calmed down Matt noticed Jake was unusually quiet for once. "What about you, Jake? Which would you rather?"

"Obviously 'e's gonna say Linda. You can't 'ave missed 'ow 'e feels 'bout Ivana. All those lectures 'bout 'ow she tricks us all into likin' 'er," laughed Joey, rolling his eyes.

"Alright, let him answer for himself."

Jake thought about it. The answer was obvious: he hated Ivana. "Linda, obviously," he rolled his eyes at Matt.

Then again, he thought secretly, Ivana is traditionally attractive.

***

"Dinner's ready!" Sue yelled.

"Give it a minute. She's announces it early so we'll have to help lay the table," dismissed Jake.

"Shouldn't we help?" asked Ivana.

"Please, you can stop trying so hard to make my family like you," he scoffed.

"Only when you stop trying so hard to be an arsehole to me." With that, she got up and marched downstairs, using those incredibly long legs of hers.

His mum was howling with laughter, when Jake sloped sulkily into the kitchen. "And then we got home and she'd just been there the whole time! She didn't even go to the toilet; she just sat there staring at this parrot for like four hours!" Ivana finished her anecdote, leaving Sue with tears in her eyes.

Pete beat his son to it by asking, "What are you two laughing about then?"

Still struggling to get her breath back, Sue explained, "She was telling me about when the neighbour's parrot got into their house."

At the blank looks, Ivana elaborated, "My mum's deathly afraid of parrots." She then proceeded to retell the whole story and left Pete and Karen in tears too.

Ben's booming laugh filled the house and Karen asked, "So she just sat in the sink all day? Why didn't she open the window or something?"

At that point, Jake had to excuse himself for fear he'd laugh or do anything to give Ivana the idea he enjoyed her company. Heaven forbid.

"This is really nice, thank you," Ivana smiled her suck up smile.

"You're very welcome," his mum smiled her naïve smile. A symbol of how totally ignorant of Ivana's latent evil she was.

***

There was nothing but the clatter of cutlery on plates for a while and Jake's perpetual scowling. Then his dad asked, "So, Ivana, what type of music are you into?"

"Um...well, I'm a huge fan of Florence And The Machine, but I also like Marina And The Diamonds, Christina Aguilera, Blondie, Annie Lennox, Paramore and Tina Turner, among others."

"So basically empowered women," sneered Jake cynically.

"Yeah, I guess so," Ivana chuckled. Sue shot her son a warning glance. "Hmm...I don't know what else really. I'm trying to think of one that isn't an empowered woman," she laughed lightly, "I guess Taylor Swift counts as a strong woman, huh?"

"If you count only singing about how boys dump you as strong," growled Karen, feeling her inexplicable loathing for the country-pop singer fester and spread.

"GIRL POWER!" trilled Jake. When he realised that he'd struck a dramatic pose with one fist in the air and his eyes squeezed shut, he clarified, "I wasn't meant to impersonate Freddie mercury, by the way. That just happened," and grinned at his dad. His family all laughed and then something weird happened...

He heard it before he saw it. It was a light giggling sound, but full of genuine amusement. When he looked, he saw that her eyes were crinkled and her braids jingled with the movement of her laughter. Her full, dark lips were parted in a wide smile and were a light shade of pink in the centre. It wasn't abnormal that she was laughing: she laughed all the time. It was so noteworthy because never before had Jake's joke been the cause of that laughter. He'd never intentionally been funny around her before. Now, though, as he watched her, he experienced a bizarre sense of pride that made his chest swell and he felt almost giddy. His grin expanded to near breaking point and he watched her, eyes sparkling.

His joy was quickly dampened when he heard another laugh. A lower, malevolent chuckle. He whipped his head round and met Karen's smug, satisfied gaze. She gave him a knowing look that wiped the happiness from his face. His little sister could be scary...and evil, definitely evil.

He shivered. He didn't know what she knew, but he knew she knew something. His not knowing what she knew only made her knowing scarier.

He swallowed and looked away.