You Have No Idea, Royz, One-Shot

Disclaimer: I don't own Royz, all of this is fiction, I don't make money from this. 

I stand in the back of the stage, next to Tomoya's drums. I have a perfect view on a certain blond-haired guitarist. It's mesmerizing to watch him play. At least, that's my opinion. The opinion of fangirls probably too. Other people... I don't know. I have always liked him. From the beginning of Royz, he was my favourite of the band. I liked the other guys too, but in a different way. Back then I thought it was because he was more friendly maybe than the others. Now I know that that makes absolutely no sense. All of them are nice and amazing in their own way. It's just that I have a little thing for Kazuki. Or not so little. I wish he would recognise me. But as I said, he stands in front of me, playing the stars out of heaven. Spotlights on him. I'm just a little person on the back of the stage, playing the instrument that is the hardest to notice in a song. Some people say that it doesn't matter whether the bass is there or not. Of course the other instruments are more important, but the bass is not unnecessary.

Kazuki walks to the middle of the stage, now starting his solo. He stands back to back with Subaru. When his solo is finished Subaru puts his arm around his neck and turns his head towards him. Then he kisses Kazuki. A stab goes through my heart. I want to look away, but I can't, I just can't. I wish I could, I only hurt myself by watching. I wish I was standing there in Subaru's place. That it was me kissing Kazuki. Subaru pulls away after what felt like an hour. I can finally look away from the spot. I look around the rest of the stage and I find Tomoya's eyes looking at me. I quickly avert my eyes back to my bass and put a fake smile on. Then I look into the crowd again. I hope they didn't notice me being slightly absent.

When the live was over we all went back to the hotel. There were three rooms booked. We decided who got which one by five straws of 3 different lengths. I picked one first. I just hoped that I had the same one as Kazuki. Subaru and Kuina were next. They picked the same straw and therefore shared a room. Then Kazuki. Apparently fate was on my side. Kazuki drew the same straw as me. I think I used all my luck at that moment, I didn't have any luck left after that, but back then I didn't know that yet. Tomoya got a room for himself.

I was happy. I got to share a room with the person I love. But that feeling of happiness didn't last too long. We were lying in our beds. Ready to go to sleep.

'Can I ask you something?' Kazuki asks. 'Yeah, of course.' I answer. 'Do you love someone? In a way you want to spend your life with that person, not in a friendly way I mean.' I smile. 'Yes.' That person is talking to me right now. 'How does it feel?' Yeah, how does it feel? How to describe it? 'It feels like... You want to be with that person the whole time and when he is with someone else, in a friendly way, you feel really jealous. Even if that person is not yours. And then you feel selfish because you want that person to be happy.' 'I love someone too-' There's another crack in my already broken heart...  The person he loves is very lucky to have his love. Kazuki continues: '-but I'm scared that he doesn't love me back and that if I tell him, it will ruin our friendship.' My throat tightens while I talk. 'Tell him. If it does indeed affect your friendship, then he probably isn't the friend you always thought he was.' 'Thanks Koudai, I think I'll tell him tomorrow.' Tomorrow, but... We're on tour... Then who..? 'Kazuki?' I ask. 'Hm?' 'Who do you love?' '...Subaru.' Subaru?! Seriously? How could I've been so blind? How is it possible that I didn't notice it earlier? I sigh. 'He is so sweet and beautiful and his voice, well, you know his voice, but everytime I hear him talking or singing, I just feel hypnotised or something.' Kazuki says. 'You really love him, don't you?' 'I've never loved anyone that much before.' I can feel my heart crumble more and more with every word he says. 'I hope everything turns out fine. I hope you'll be happy.' Even if I will never be. I hope I didn't sound to crappy. 'Thank you, Koudai. For being such a great friend and that you are always  there for me.' I get tears in my eyes. I want to be more that friends... 'I'm going to sleep now, I'm tired.' Damn, now I'm sure that my voice sounded pretty fucked up. 'Are you okay?' Kazuki asks, concerned. I try to keep my voice as steady as possible. 'Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?' I smile at him. He probably notices that it's a fake one. 'Ow, okay, if you say so... Good night then.' I turn my back to him and soundless tears may finally escape my eyes.