Ako si Alice.
This is the story of my short and normal life. Nothing special. Nothing extraordinary.
By the way, isa na akong kaluluwa. Tambay na kaluluwa to be exact.
Now that the light is approaching, is there a chance to go back?
I don't know.
...
Canadian ang tatay ko. (Hinayup** na yon.) Iniwan nya si Inay after she died. Hinoldap at sinaksak ng ice pick malapit pa mandin sa police outpost. Well, ayokong magkwento about that. It's just killing me inside.
I'm the average girl you see in the school canteen--a commoner-- hawak ang supot ng palamig at unti-unting sinisipsip ang juice through the flattened straw. Patingin-tingin sa burger ni Josh. O sa pop corn ng mga rakistang ewan kung manamit. Mahirap. Pero tanggap ko na. Wala namang kakaiba saken. Bukod sa pagiging maputi. Matangkad at mas cute nang konti. I'm a 10th grader. I don't have many friends. Wala din namang mga kaaway. Basta. I am just the wind. Everybody feels, but nobody pays attention to. Sabi ng iba malas daw ako. Pero I don't believe them. Inggit lang siguro sila sa mga mata kong medyo light green.
Hanggang isang araw pauwi, patawid ng burado nang pedestrian lane, I was hit by a car. A car that did not even stop or u-turn to take me to the hospital. A bullshit's car. Yun. Habang nagkakagulo ang paligid, all I could see was the red dirtying the half-erased white lines of the street.
Pumapalahaw ang aking Nanang nang magkaron ako ng ulirat. She was wearing black. Everyone inside the place--well, I remember it's our home--was wearing black. And it was me. Lying comfortably in that rich-looking casket.
Nakita ko si Tatang. Nasa isang tabi. Hawak ang duguang uniform na suot ko pauwi. Obviously, iba na ang damit ko. Puting-puting bestida na mukhang pamilyar sa akin. I just don't remember kung kailan at saan ko ito nakita. Basta. It looked beautiful on me.
"Bakit! Bakit ikaw pa! Anak ko!" dalamhati ni Nanang habang nagpupumiglas from the embrace of my elder sister, Hilda.
Hilda was trying to soothe my mother's grief. I was not sure how she felt about me. Alam ko kasi galit si ate sa akin. Dati pa. I had not even seen her cry since I was returned from the community hospital--na walang nagawa, o ginawa, to save my life. Ganyan naman, di ba? If you were poor, nobody would care about you. Anyway, sanay na din naman ako. Walang pumapasin sa akin because I had always been a "nobody". Kahit sa huling yugto ng buhay ko.
Saklap, bes.
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