i really hate jung hoseok (not)//yoonseok

01: hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade

"God, I fucking hate Jung Hoseok." Yoongi groaned, as he slumped onto a sofa belonging to Jeon Jeongguk and Kim Taehyung.

"I know hyung, you tell me that like, every day," Jeongguk chuckled.

"I just... you don't know how frustrating it is having my room right next to his," Yoongi pretended that he didn't hear Jeongguk's snickering as he continued on, "I literally don't get to sleep for more than three hours before he comes stumbling home, either wasted off his ass and breaking stuff, or blasting some really loud shitty music." He buried his face in his hands and Jeongguk joined him on the couch.

"So, tell him to turn down the volume."

Yoongi laughed, no, cackled at that: "Have you met him? I don't think it's fucking possible to make Jung Hoseok 'turn down the volume', the guy never seems to shut the fuck up. Christ. I really wish my mother could've moved in with some bastard who didn't have a son that seems to take pride in how pissed off he can make me. And worst of all, when he's not drunk, or in the mood for deafening everyone in the house, he has his girlfriend over, current girlfriend, whoever that might be, and let's just say, they're not exactly discrete about what they get up to at three am." The mint haired boy made a face of disgust, as his mind wandered to the countless times he had heard loud noises coming from the next room. He didn't have a hard time imagining what was going on, and that made it a hell of a lot harder to sleep.

"So, he fucks his girlfriend late at night. Get over it man, buy some earplugs or something." Taehyung said, grinning, emerging from the kitchen with a big bowl of popcorn. Yoongi sent him a murderous look.

"Fuck off, Taehyung." he snapped, but Taehyung just smiled at him.

"Just get your own place then, you'll be rid of him and your mom." Jeongguk said, as if it was the easiest thing ever, and patted Yoongi's head. The elder winced, and pushed Jeongguk's hand off.

"Trust me, I would fucking love to, but I can't possibly afford that," the eldest groaned again, "school is kicking my ass, I can't even get proper work done, much less afford an apartment."

"You could sell some of your comics? You have so many, I bet someone's willing to pay a decent amount of money for that." Taehyung suggested, but Yoongi shot him a look of surprise.

"I will not sell my comics, they're all I have." He huffed and adjusted his glasses.

"What're we then?" Jeongguk gasped. before widening his eyes in a look of ironic hurt. That made Taehyung almost fall over from laughing.

"No, but Yoongs, if you're not willing to move out, you don't really have the right to complain. He's just... living his life." Taehyung shrugged, and grabbed some popcorn.

Jeongguk punched him on the shoulder.

"What?" He widened his eyes, "what'd I do now?" Jeongguk just laughed, and threw a handful of popcorn at the latter.

"Well, you're welcome to stay here, Yoongi, but your mom would probably have a heart attack." Jeongguk said.

"Yeah, she really doesn't like us, huh?" Taehyung followed. "I don't get it, we're so cool."

"The coolest." Jeongguk threw an arm around Taehyung.

"Probably because of that one time you came over, and literally broke four plates over the course of a few hours." Yoongi said, amused. His mother had never liked the two boys, which probably had something to do with a mix of her homophobic tendencies and the fact that his two friends were incredibly clumsy.

"Good thing we have plastic plates." Taehyung kissed Jeongguk on the cheek, and the younger snorted.

"Enough about my mother, let's start the fucking movie!" Yoongi exclaimed, and Taehyung pressed play.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

"Kook, have I ever even met Jung Hoseok?" Taehyung asked, a bit too loudly for Yoongi to properly hear the narrator on screen.

Episode I

"Yeah, remember, he's the guy who laughed so hard at a really shitty joke you made, that he spilled vodka-cranberry on Yoongi." Jeongguk responded.

"Oh, right, I remember! He's kinda cute, huh, Yoongs?" Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows and bumped his shoulder into the older's.

THE PHANTOM MENACE

"Psh," The mint haired boy scoffed and took a sip of his drink, which was nowhere near strong enough for him to talk about Jung Hoseok, "He's the human embodiment of a fucking headache, that's what he is. Now hush, children, it's starting."

Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute.

"Jeonggukie, I thing our beloved Min Yoongi has a crush." Taehyung giggled, and the raven haired boy laughed along with him.

"Shut the fuck up, you brat, I do not have a crush. Especially not on Jung Hoseok," Yoongi grimaced. Jung Hoseok and his stupid orange hair, and stupidly loud music at two am, and stupidly loud sex at three am. "Shut up and watch the movie."

Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of deadly battleships, the greedy Trade Federation has stopped all shipping to the small planet of Naboo.

"You always say his full name, have you noticed that?" Taehyung smirked, still wiggling his eyebrows, and poked Yoongi's cheek with his finger.

"Show Yoongi-hyung some respect, Tae," Jeongguk giggled while removing his boyfriend's hand from Yoongi's face. "Even if he is in denial about his obvious crush on a fuckboy, he is your elder after all."

Yoongi scoffed, and adjusted his hoodie. "Why am I even friends with you kids..." he mumbled.

"Because you love us, hyung! And how could you not?" Taehyung exclaimed, a wide smile on his face.

"Nah, I only stick around because I don't have a tv in my room, and I don't want to deal with my mother, her husband, or Jung Hoseok at home." The elder insisted, "Now, please be fucking quiet, we're gonna miss the opening crawl."

While the congress of the Republic endlessly debates this alarming chain of events, the Supreme Chancellor has secretly dispatched two Jedi Knights, the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy, to settle the conflict....

---

yaaaaaa here we go, i hope y'all liked this, imma update it later this week :^)