You Got Me || Austin Porter

If You're Not The One

I frozed. I didn't know how to answer to that, I was caught off guard. I guess Brandon saw how nervous I was because he quickly grabbed my hand under the table trying to calm me down. I couldn't answer Austin in front of everybody so I just said:
- Can we talk about this later?
- What? Is there actually something to talk about?
- Aust...
- Save it, (Y/N). - he interrupted me and walked out of the house.
Everyone continued to not say a word til Jess decided to break the ice:
- So, why didn't you explain things to him right away?
- Because I don't think he would like to discover somethings in front of the boys, Jess! - I said raising my voice a little. I love this girl, but she can be so clueless sometimes... I looked at Brandon and he just nodded with his head and I knew he was okay with me telling Austin, so I went to A's little secret place he told me about last night, it was only a few steps away from the house. He described it as a pretty place, but when I got there it was breathtaking. It was simple, just a big rock on the end of the street of the boy's house (that was on a mountain), but you could see the whole city and at this moment I could also see Austin sitted on the rock. I knew I should get closer to him very carefully otherwise he would start venting on me again.
- Hey, A, can we talk? - I said as smoothly as I could
- Go ahead - he said without turning his head in my direction or without moving at all. I sat next to him and started explaining myself:
- So, I need you to listen calmly to every word I say and you have to wait til I'm finish to say anything. Ok, here we go. You know Brandon and I know each other since we were really young, right? So we lived lots of things together and one of these things is the reason why I call him Boobear. It was my first time visiting Jess here in LA without my parents, so I was staying at the Arreaga house and everything was perfect til it came to the slepping part because I had forgotten my little bear in Brazil. I was incapable of sleeping without it, so I started to freak out. Brandon hugged me and said it was going to be fine. He let me "hold" him, like I would do with my bear, til I felt like I didn't need my Boobear anymore. - I kept looking at him trying to catch any reaction.
- Is that it? - He asked. I knew that if I lied to him there was no way back, so I had to tell him all of it.
- Actually, there's one other thing I must tell you. I mean, you know he and I grew up together, right? So a lot of ours first experiences were with each other. It came a time where everyone started to have their first kiss and, well, we wanted to know it was like to kiss someone, so we decided to try with each other. So, yeah, hm, my first kiss was with B...
- WHAT? - he interrupted me and I knew he would take so badly the next part...
- Wait, please, I have to finish this, otherwise I'll loose my strengths. As I was saying, my first kiss was with B, but the tricky part is that we kept on doing that for the whole summer. I mean, it wasn't a big deal to any of us, it didn't even affect our friendship... - he interrupted me again:
- Were you guys a couple?
- Well, when he went to Brazil for Christmas vacation we kissed again. So, yeah, we were kind of a couple for a while...
- Did you guys had like a long distance relationship?
- Well, we never but a label on it, but we didn't hook up with other people so I guess so...
- I'm really loosing it, (Y/N)...
- A, I just want you to know I never felt whatever it is that I feel for you, for him. He never made me have butterflies in my stomach. He never made me feel like you do. To be honest, no one ever did. This was just one of that cases where friendship gets mixed up!! I swear to you it was not a big deal for any of us.
- Now I get why you two are so close... Look, (Y/N), I have to talk to Brandon. I'm sorry. - he said, got up, grabbed his skateboard and started walking to the house, I figured. When I saw him walking down the street, holding his skateboard in hands, I felt like my world was falling apart, I felt so empty, I felt so lonely. But that was just too extreme, I mean, hooking up with Austin was great, getting to know him was great and spending time with him was great, but I am not the type of girl that gets attached, so why the hell was I feeling so blue?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Austin's Pov
My head was spinning while I walked as slow as possible to the house. After all I needed some time to understand the things (Y/N) had told me and to figure out what was I going to say to Brandon.
I was standing in front of the principal entrance of the house gathering my strengths to make my way in. I took a deep breath and opened the door. All the guys (plus Jess) were still in the same place and positions as we left them. Guess they were still trying to understand what happened, just like I was. I walked straight to B and just asked him to follow me because I needed to talk to him. I believe he was expecting this reaction from me, because he didn't even flinch, so he probably knew (Y/N) had told me about them, so there was no need to stall this.
- I need to know your version of the story.
- Ok, dude, I'll tell you everything but you need to know that it all happened a long time ago. She was my first kiss and I was hers, but we only did it because our friends were all doing it and we were really close so no big deal, you know? After that, we kinda of started a relationship that lasted a few months. We decided to break up because she was not feeling it like I was. I mean, I was starting to care more about her than I ever did, I never told her that tough. I just said we were better off as friends and I guess she thought the same and that hurt me but I ignored it til I felt nothing for her anymore and we moved on to this amazing brother and sister thing. Believe me, Austin, there's nothing more than friendship between us now.
- Is hard to believe that when she calls you her Boobear and you keep calling her princess.
- She only calls me that because...
- Yeah, yeah, the whole couldn't sleep without the bear story, she told me. And why do you call her princess?
- Well, I guess you notice she was not the barbie and dolls kind of girl, but obviously Jess was. And you know Jess, she always gets what she wants, mostly with (Y/N) because she hate discussions, so Jess used to make her dress up as a princess and play with her. And I, for my own choice, not because my sister used to make me, would always be the prince. So I guess it stuck.
- This just keep on getting worse...
- Bro, chill. You heard everything you needed, I'm just gonna leave you to think. - Brandon said and walked to the door, when he was almost leaving the room he said:
- But think carefully, she's truly an amazing girl, don't throw it away for nothing. - He said
and left me there with my own thoughts. I sat on my bed with a piece of paper and a pen and started composing and thinking about all the things I realized yesterday while talking to (Y/N) and all the things I've been told today. Some pretty good lyrics came in my mind:

"If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope, I love you all my life"

(Y/N) is a really amazing girl, I definitely want to get to her more and more, she is so different, so beautiful, I don't know, there's just something about her that makes her intriguing... Looking on the other side, she has a history with not only my best friend, but my band mate. This could go so wrong, but so right at the same time. Am I really up for risking it all?
______________________

Hey guys, I know its been a little while since my last post and I know this was not the best chapter, but I had millions of things to do for school this week so I couldn't focus it all on the fanfic. Promise the next one will be better... Btw, the song used in this chapter is called "If you're not the one" and its by Daniel Bedingfield.
~ Mafe