Phan Oneshots

Dear Diary

Summery: Dan has found Phil's diary and as Phil is on holiday he reads it.

Warnings: Selfharm, depression, anxiety

POV: Dan

Word count: I don't do word counts okay just gunna put that out there, the longer the better, right? (That's what she said!)

Updated A/N: I promised myself I wouldn't write a oneshot like this, and it's even more ironic that this is the first one. I'm so sorry if this offends anybody and I'm sorry how cliché this is. Yes, scars are kissed and its romantic at the end. I do not find selfharm, depression, anxiety, eating disorders etc romantic. Not at all. I myself suffer from the things Phil does in this story. In no way should these things be romantic. I have considered deleting this oneshot, but I've decided not to. Take this as a mental disorder awareness thing and not just a stupid romanticised thing. Again, I apologise if anything I have written offends anyone. Tell me if it has, because then I know where I've gone wrong and I won't make the mistake again. If you've read this, thankyou so much. Enjoy reading, my loves!

Phil had gone on holiday with his family leaving me on my own for 2 weeks. He was coming home in 3 days so I thought it would be nice to tidy his room a little. Surely Phil would leave his room tidy? He did. I missed Phil the minute he walked out the door and I had been sleeping in his bed since and basically not going in my room much at all.

I was putting some of his shirts away in his draws when I came across a small book. It was pale blue and on the front written in black sharpie was "MY DIARY"

Normally I'm not the kinda guy too invade other people's personal lives. Phil was always happy (unless there was no cereal) so I guessed it would be okay to read it. He wouldn't find out, right? I'd just put it back and never speak of it again. I began to read

'8th January 2014

Dear Diary,

This is my new diary I guess. I kept a diary in 2007 but I never really used it much. I plan to write in this at least twice a week.

Today was a really nice day. Me and Dan had a movie day and we watched Twilight (ironically), The Lion King, High School Musical, My Friend Toroto and stuff. We cuddled during emotional scenes which made the day even better.

Around 5 we stopped our movie marathon and had Stir Fry for dinner. I went to my room to read through my YouTube comments and found hate. Usually hate doesn't bother me but today was different. This person really hurt me. Should I tell Dan? I won't for now, it's just an idiot being mean.

- Phil'

I became extremely upset after reading this. Why had Phil never told me? It was now April, what if this was still bothering him? I read on

'10th January 2014

Dear Diary,

I've put on weight recently, I know I have. My legs feel more trapped in my jeans and my stomach isn't as flat as it used to be. I'm going to go on a diet, maybe that will help.

People won't like me if I'm fat. Someone commented on my last video saying I was fatter than normal. What if the phandom hates me? What if Dan hates me? Dan is my best friend, I don't want to loose him. Ever since we met I've had a crush on him. But Dan is straight, he wouldn't fall in love with me. He knows I'm Bisexual, I've dated guys before.

I got more hate on YouTube today, someone said that I'm ugly and the only reason I have fans is through Dan. I don't want that to be true.

- Phil'

This angered me. My best friend had been getting hate since January and never told me. And he was feeling insecure too! I skipped a few pages and read on.