It's been awhile since I last cried. I honestly don't think I'm capable of it anymore. It isn't that I don't want to, some days I want nothing more than to curl up into a ball and have the tears wash away the heaviness in my chest. I just can't. They refuse to form, to take shape and make their way silently down my face.
There was a time in my life I expressed my feelings in a true way, but we can't go on like that, right? We can't keep bawling like babies and throwing tantrums like toddlers; we do need to get a grip on our own minds. But there is a balance, a point of virtue, that I went passed so long ago. Every negative emotion is buried before I can even feel it, making me passive and weak. Everyone loves me for my smile and twenty-four-seven happy disposition, meanwhile every other feeling is crammed into my chest. Problem is, that space is getting so full, so much harder to ignore, and the disparity between my outgoing personality and inner pain is so difficult to bare. I wish I'd learnt to get these emotions out instead of bottling them up; there is no "healthy release" when the internal pressure is this high. How do I defuse this bomb without triggering the damage I seek to avoid?
I hear a knock on my door and I groan because I just didn't want to see anybody no one.
''Come in''I shout making my head pound a ton more.
''Hey''I look up and see Ellie.Why couldn't she leave me alone?
''What''I said rubbing my temple.
''I brought you tea''
''To poison me''I said rudely making her take a deep breath.
''I'm trying to be nice to you''She fumed and you act like a Bitch''
Ellie Lee
I cover my mouth shocked at my outburst.Her eyes flashed with indignance and anger, much like lightning on a pitch black night.Now my blood drained and heart hammered erratically.White knuckles from clenching her fist too hard, and gritted teeth from effort to remain silent, her hunched form exuded an animosity that was like acid - burning, slicing, potent.She strutted to me and before I could move away I had a fist in my eye.
''Get The Fuck Out''She growled shoving me out.I recovered running to my room as tears threatened to spill from the pain.I should've shut up I said as I placed the tray in my hand by the side of my bed.I walk to the kitchen for a ice pack when she walks in ready to go somewhere and I quickly rush to my room.
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I should start minding my business and staying out of people's life again.She deserved what ever she got.She was such a bitch anyways.
Nash Grier POV
"Thank you for this"He looked at her sprawled hair from the breeze.She played with a razor blade in her hand.He turned back to the road ahead with a small smile.They were driving to know where but the peace was so adventurous.
"I knew you weren't stone cold"She looked at me wearily before answering
"I could be replaced that easily"
"What"
"Am I that Replaceable"He finally knew who she was talking about and mentally frowned.
"You can never be replaced... You're a Queen and every time I see you I believe more in God because he made something as beautiful ad you"
"I'm glad one person truely feels that way"
"What are you doing with that razor blade"
"Deciding something"
"What"he asked confused.
"I want to cut my hair"
"Why"
"I could feel his hands combing through my ends still"
He didn't say anything else... he didn't know what to say.He turned to see her tying her hair with two rubber bands and he pulled to the side.
